Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Music News

Jason Newsted spends 5 years writing memoir because 130 chapters of his life are that fascinating apparently
Breaking, Music News

Jason Newsted spends 5 years writing memoir because 130 chapters of his life are that fascinating apparently

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2026June 28, 2026

OH NO, JASON NEWSTED IS WRITING A BOOK AND WE’RE ALL DOOMED 🤯! I mean, who doesn’t want to read…

Ann Wilson tells young musicians to abandon all hope and relationships now
Breaking News: Ann Wilson Gives Advice to Young Artists, and Honestly, It's a Miracle She Didn't Tell Them to Run Away Screaming 🙅‍♀️
Breaking, Music News

Ann Wilson tells young musicians to abandon all hope and relationships now

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2026June 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some brutal honesty from one of rock’s most iconic voices? 🤯 Ann Wilson,…

SKID ROW somehow didnt get sued by 70s Irish rock legends go figure
Breaking, Music News

SKID ROW somehow didnt get sued by 70s Irish rock legends go figure

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2026June 28, 2026

Oh no, the name police are coming for SKID ROW! 😱 I mean, who wouldn’t want to use a name…

Behemoth is Taking a Whole Year Off to Recover from Nergal’s Ego Exhaustion
Breaking, Music News

Behemoth is Taking a Whole Year Off to Recover from Nergal’s Ego Exhaustion

Chord F. DiscordJune 26, 2026June 26, 2026

Breaking News: Behemoth Announces They’re Not Going to Tour as Much, and Honestly, Who Didn’t See This Coming? 🙄 In…

Primal Scream unearth another cash grab retrospective
Breaking, Music News

Primal Scream unearth another cash grab retrospective

Chord F. DiscordJune 26, 2026June 26, 2026

Primal Scream, the band that refuses to retire, has announced a new collection of their most revered and experimental albums,…

Melissa Auf Der Maur finally releases something people care about
Breaking, Music News

Melissa Auf Der Maur finally releases something people care about

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

Oh boy, get ready to relive the ’90s all over again… whether you want to or not 🙄. Melissa Auf…

Rudy Sarzo’s New Single Likely To Cure Insomnia With A.I. Help
Breaking, Music News

Rudy Sarzo’s New Single Likely To Cure Insomnia With A.I. Help

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some mind-blowing news? I just found out that Rudy Sarzo, the legendary hard…

The Isle Of Wight Festival still exists apparently
Breaking, Music News

The Isle Of Wight Festival still exists apparently

Chord F. DiscordJune 25, 2026June 25, 2026

Well, well, well, it’s festival season again, and you know what that means – a plethora of reunions, comebacks, and…

I Prevail’s Eric Vanlerberghe Spills Tea On Forcing Amira Elfky To Sing On Paradise Single
Breaking, Music News

I Prevail’s Eric Vanlerberghe Spills Tea On Forcing Amira Elfky To Sing On Paradise Single

Chord F. DiscordJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some exciting news? 🤩 I PREVAIL is releasing a new single, “Paradise”, on…

William Shatner to Embark on Ambitious Live Tour Because You Clearly Needed This in Your Life
Breaking News: William Shatner to Unleash Heavy Metal Chaos on the World, Because Why Not? 🤯
Breaking, Music News

William Shatner to Embark on Ambitious Live Tour Because You Clearly Needed This in Your Life

Chord F. DiscordJune 24, 2026June 24, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my shirt while reading that William Shatner, the 95-year-old legend behind Captain James…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 83 84 85 … 193 Next

Latest posts

  • Walmart Scores Sweet Tariff Refund Jackpot
  • Melania Trump apparently has better things to do now
  • Tariffs Still Happening Because Why Not At This Point
  • Trump’s Census Report Gets Failing Grade From Experts
  • China’s Property Tycoon Gets Lifetime Accommodations Courtesy of Government

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.