Six Flags Magic Mountain permanently closed its famous X2 roller coaster due to a history of riders incurring brain injuries, with some resulting in death. What do you think?

“You try selling a $27 fountain soda to someone with full cognitive function.”
Laura Jessup, Decal Applier

“Can’t they just ride it backwards to reverse the damage?”
Joshua Tozi, Mouse Breeder

“Too many or not enough?”
Vince Sherburne, Assistant Docent
The post Six Flags Closes X2 Roller Coaster Due To Brain Injuries appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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