CATTLE DECAPITATION to Subject Innocent Ears to ‘Death Atlas’ in 2025 Across the Continent
Ah, yes, the enlightened eco-warriors of West Coast deathgrind, CATTLE DECAPITATION, have deigned to bless the unwashed masses of North…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Evanescence Ditching Their Emo Roots for a Midlife Crisis Album: “We’re Just Doing Whatever Feels Good,” Says Amy Lee, Probably Wearing Crocs
OMG! 😱 In a recent interview with Kevin Ryder and Megan Holiday from the *super* influential KROQ radio station (never…
Clawfinger Announces New Album, ‘Before We All Drool Into Our Geriatric Rocking Chairs’
OMG! 😱 The geriatric rap-metal dinosaurs CLAWFINGER are BACK with “Before We All Die”, dropping February 20, 2026, on Perception,…
GHOST to haunt Jimmy Fallon’s show next week, hope he has a priest on standby
OMG! 😱😱😱GHOST, you know, that Swedish “rock” band (and I use that term loosely), will grace us with their presence…
Nine Inch Nails’ New “Tron” Soundtrack: Get Ready for Some Seriously Overproduced Synth Noises
“Tron: Ares (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack),” featuring all original music by NINE INCH NAILS (because who else would Disney hire?…
BIOHAZARD Drops ‘Divided We Fall’ Album and a Totally Unexpected ‘F*** The System’ Anthem
OMG! 😱 The geriatric delinquents of BIOHAZARD are back with “Divided We Fall”, their first “studio album” (air quotes because…
Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!
OMG! 😱 Guitarist 🎸 Phil Fasciana of those geriatric Florida 🐊 death metallers 💀 MALEVOLENT CREATION (still around? 😂) has…
Judas Priest Still Kicking (Literally) at 2025 Hellfest: Proof That Metal Gods Don’t Know When to Quit
OMG! 😱 ARTE Concert, bless their cotton socks, has dropped the entire JUDAS PRIEST performance from Hellfest 2025. So, if…
L7 Throws Geriatric Punk Party with LUNACHICKS: Prepare for Maximum Mosh Pit Aches
OMG, L7 is STILL a thing? 🤣 Apparently, these geriatric rockers are throwing themselves a “40th Anniversary Bash” because, let’s…
Perry Farrell, Queen of Shade, Claps Back with Lawsuit Against Jane’s Addiction After They Try It
According to those paragons of journalistic integrity at Variety, Perry Farrell, the man who brought you Lollapalooza (and possibly VD),…