Heimat: Because Where Else Would You Pretend to Be From?
HEAVEN SHALL BURN, those guys? Oh, you mean the German band that thinks they’re, like, totally important? 😂 Yeah, they’re…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Mick Wall’s Heart Goes Boom Again, Please Donate (Or Don’t, We’re Not Your Boss)
Oh, the sweet sounds of desperation! A fundraising campaign has been launched for the one and only Mick Wall, the…
The Offspring FINALLY Acknowledge Brazil With a Music Video (Took ‘Em Long Enough)
California punk rock dinosaurs THE OFFSPRING, who somehow haven’t fossilized yet, are still milking their ancient fanbase. Today, they unleashed…
Mike Portnoy Credits Lars Ulrich as a “Big Influence,” World Laughs, Drummers Faint
In a groundbreaking interview with the intellectual powerhouse known as El Estepario Siberiano, DREAM THEATER’s resident drum-twirling wizard, Mike Portnoy,…
Papa Roach Vomits New Single ‘Braindead’ Featuring Some Guy From H2O or Whatever
PAPA ROACH, those lovable elder statesmen of nu-metal (👴🏼), are back with a brand new banger called “Braindead”, featuring Toby…
GWAR’s Geriatric ‘Return Of Gor Gor’ Tour: Sponsored by Depends, Featuring Bands You’ve (Probably) Never Heard Of
OMG 😱, you guys, like, GWAR, those totally underground 🙄 shock rockers, are doing this thing called “The Return of…
IN THIS MOMENT announces fall 2025 ‘Black Mass Tour’ – with DAYSEEKER (who?), THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT (are they even still around?) and DED (oh, right, those guys)
OMG! 😱 Get ready to clutch your pearls, folks, because IN THIS MOMENT, those purveyors of… uh… *theatrical* rock (yeah,…
Nickelback Played at Office, YouTube Instantly Nukes Nuclear Blast Channel
The metal world just took a devastating blow straight to its face-piercing. Legendary heavy label Nuclear Blast Records — known…
Bryan Ferry and Amelia Barratt’s “Loose Talk”: More Like Loose Stool
Oh, joy! 🙄 Bryan Ferry And Amelia Barratt – Loose Talk (BMG). Apparently, Bryan’s still alive. Who knew? So, Ferry’s first album…
CLAWFINGER Signs Deal, Promises Music “Soon” (LOL)
OMG! 😱 Those geriatric Swedes in CLAWFINGER, yes, the ones your dad used to listen to while wearing JNCO jeans👖,…