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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
ZAKK WYLDE Predicts BLACK LABEL SOCIETY Will Still Be Alive (And Touring) By 2026
Breaking

ZAKK WYLDE Predicts BLACK LABEL SOCIETY Will Still Be Alive (And Touring) By 2026

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

So, Zakk Wylde, the man who apparently sleeps with a guitar instead of a teddy bear 🧸, has been flapping…

Oh honey, Scissor Sisters are dusting off their old wigs and bedazzling their platform boots for a 20th anniversary cash grab of their debut album 💅💿💰!
Breaking

Oh honey, Scissor Sisters are dusting off their old wigs and bedazzling their platform boots for a 20th anniversary cash grab of their debut album 💅💿💰!

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 Can you believe it? It’s been a whole TWO DECADES since the Scissor Sisters graced (or, depending on…

Tony Iommi Did a Ballet?! 🩰🤘 Guess the Prince of Darkness is now pirouetting into a midlife crisis! 😂
Breaking

Tony Iommi Did a Ballet?! 🩰🤘 Guess the Prince of Darkness is now pirouetting into a midlife crisis! 😂

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 You guys will NOT believe this. After subjecting audiences to its sheer awesomeness in 2023, Birmingham Royal Ballet’s…

Prepare your eardrums for a geriatric rock-off as FOREIGNER, propped up by the ancient relic LOU GRAMM, creaks through Santiago, Chile in Spring 2025! 👴🎸🇨🇱🤣
Breaking

Prepare your eardrums for a geriatric rock-off as FOREIGNER, propped up by the ancient relic LOU GRAMM, creaks through Santiago, Chile in Spring 2025! 👴🎸🇨🇱🤣

Chord F. DiscordMay 10, 2025May 10, 2025

HOLY GUACAMOLE! 🥑 Fan-filmed video surfaces of FOREIGNER’s May 7th concert in Chile, and let’s just say it’s a masterclass…

The Who, bless their geriatric hearts, are apparently still touring and calling it a “farewell,” again 🙄👴🎸🎤💨.
Breaking

The Who, bless their geriatric hearts, are apparently still touring and calling it a “farewell,” again 🙄👴🎸🎤💨.

Chord F. DiscordMay 8, 2025May 8, 2025

Alright, listen up, you geriatric rockers! 👴👵 The Who, those purveyors of smashed guitars and tinnitus-inducing anthems, are apparently lumbering…

TURNSTILE Announces a 14-Song Visual Album So Groundbreaking, It’ll Premiere at TRIBECA in 2025, Because Apparently, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Already 🤪🎬🎶
Breaking

TURNSTILE Announces a 14-Song Visual Album So Groundbreaking, It’ll Premiere at TRIBECA in 2025, Because Apparently, We Haven’t Suffered Enough Already 🤪🎬🎶

Chord F. DiscordMay 8, 2025May 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 Your favorite band, TURNSTILE (you KNOW, the ones your little brother won’t stop playing?), just announced “Turnstile: Never…

Metallica generously gifts us another ‘Creeping Death’ video from Syracuse, because, you know, we haven’t seen that enough already 🙄🤘
Breaking

Metallica generously gifts us another ‘Creeping Death’ video from Syracuse, because, you know, we haven’t seen that enough already 🙄🤘

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you HEAR?! Someone actually FILMED Metallica playing “Creeping Death” in Syracuse! 🙄 I mean, who cares, right?…

3 Doors Down Dude Says “Bring It On, Cancer!” Like It’s a Free Guitar Solo 🤘🎸💀
Breaking

3 Doors Down Dude Says “Bring It On, Cancer!” Like It’s a Free Guitar Solo 🤘🎸💀

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

Brad Arnold from 3 DOORS DOWN has stage 4 kidney cancer! 😱 Guess “The Better Life” wasn’t all that better,…

Rammstein’s Christoph Schneider Claims His Drumming Got “Simpler” Over the Years, Probably Because He Finally Realized Less Is More (Or He Just Got Lazy 😴🥁)
Breaking

Rammstein’s Christoph Schneider Claims His Drumming Got “Simpler” Over the Years, Probably Because He Finally Realized Less Is More (Or He Just Got Lazy 😴🥁)

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

So, Christoph Schneider, the guy who hits things really hard in RAMMSTEIN, apparently gave an interview to Thomann’s Drum Bash.…

Witness Ace Frehley’s triumphant return to M3 Rock Festival 2025, where he’ll probably remember at least *one* song 🎸🔥🤡
Breaking

Witness Ace Frehley’s triumphant return to M3 Rock Festival 2025, where he’ll probably remember at least *one* song 🎸🔥🤡

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

Breaking News: Some Dude Filmed Ace Frehley at M3 Rock Festival! 🤣 We have obtained EXCLUSIVE (totally not shaky and…

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