Mike Portnoy Credits Lars Ulrich as a “Big Influence,” World Laughs, Drummers Faint
In a groundbreaking interview with the intellectual powerhouse known as El Estepario Siberiano, DREAM THEATER’s resident drum-twirling wizard, Mike Portnoy,…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Papa Roach Vomits New Single ‘Braindead’ Featuring Some Guy From H2O or Whatever
PAPA ROACH, those lovable elder statesmen of nu-metal (👴🏼), are back with a brand new banger called “Braindead”, featuring Toby…
GWAR’s Geriatric ‘Return Of Gor Gor’ Tour: Sponsored by Depends, Featuring Bands You’ve (Probably) Never Heard Of
OMG 😱, you guys, like, GWAR, those totally underground 🙄 shock rockers, are doing this thing called “The Return of…
IN THIS MOMENT announces fall 2025 ‘Black Mass Tour’ – with DAYSEEKER (who?), THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT (are they even still around?) and DED (oh, right, those guys)
OMG! 😱 Get ready to clutch your pearls, folks, because IN THIS MOMENT, those purveyors of… uh… *theatrical* rock (yeah,…
Nickelback Played at Office, YouTube Instantly Nukes Nuclear Blast Channel
The metal world just took a devastating blow straight to its face-piercing. Legendary heavy label Nuclear Blast Records — known…
Bryan Ferry and Amelia Barratt’s “Loose Talk”: More Like Loose Stool
Oh, joy! 🙄 Bryan Ferry And Amelia Barratt – Loose Talk (BMG). Apparently, Bryan’s still alive. Who knew? So, Ferry’s first album…
CLAWFINGER Signs Deal, Promises Music “Soon” (LOL)
OMG! 😱 Those geriatric Swedes in CLAWFINGER, yes, the ones your dad used to listen to while wearing JNCO jeans👖,…
UGLY KID JOE’s New Album Update: Still Not Done Yet, But Close (Maybe)
In a recent, earth-shattering interview with Graspop Metal Meeting, the dynamic duo of UGLY KID JOE, Whitfield Crane (vocals, allegedly)…
Metallica’s ‘Hometown’ Concerts: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Their 2025 ‘M72’ Tour (Spoiler: They’re Still in San Francisco)
So, METALLICA’s tour coordinator, this dude Jon-Michael Marino (who?), gave KPIX (aka CBS Bay Area, which, let’s be honest, nobody…
AC/DC to Inflict “Music” Upon Australia in Late 2025 Stadium Tour, Humanity Weeps
OMG! 👴🏻🎸⚡️ AC/DC, those geriatric rockers who haven’t had a decent album since, like, the Stone Age, are apparently dragging…