Yngwie Malmsteen Has Had It With These “Hired Vocalists” Who Think They’re Co-Owners of His Brand (Spoiler: They’re Not) 🎸🔥
Move over, Hollywood divorces — the real drama is unfolding in the world of neoclassical shred metal, where legendary Swedish axe-slinger Yngwie Malmsteen has officially lost his patience with former singers who dare to tour songs from *his* solo albums like they had anything to do with creating them. 😏
In a fiery social media rant that was posted and then deleted faster than a harmonic minor scale run, the 62-year-old guitar virtuoso who once made hair metal musicians question their life choices, came out swinging: “So it has come to my attention that these hired and paid singers that I hired for my solo records are all trying to capitalize from my brand!” 💸
Let that sink in. These poor souls — men with names like Mark Boals and Joe Lynn Turner, who probably thought they were part of a creative collaboration — apparently forgot they were just session musicians with better wardrobes. Malmsteen was quick to remind everyone: “Performing on MY SOLO records does not equal ownership, authorship, or legacy.” Ouch. 🔥💔
He continued, with the intensity of someone explaining copyright law to a particularly dense parrot: “Writing a line here and there doesn’t make someone a songwriter, and singing my material doesn’t make it theirs. They were merely given a salary (work for hire) to put down MY written parts, just like the keyboard player, bassist, drummer etc.”
Now, you might be thinking, “Yngwie, buddy, who exactly are you mad at?” Well, the internet detective community (aka everyone with Wi-Fi) immediately pointed fingers at Mats Levén, who recently announced two Japan shows in 2026 that will “focus heavily” on material from *Facing The Animal* — the one Yngwie album Levén actually sang on. 🤔
And here’s where it gets juicy. Earlier this month, when asked about his creative input on that very album, Levén casually dropped: “I wrote 30–35% of the *Facing The Animal* album.” 😱
Wait, WHAT? You mean to tell me that someone who breathed into a microphone while standing near Yngwie actually contributed ideas? Unbelievable. Next thing you know, he’ll claim he helped choose the font on the album cover. 🖋️
Levén went on to explain that he wrote all the lyrics and melody lines for tracks like “Enemy” and “Facing The Animal” — which, to be fair, sounds a lot like *creating*. But according to Malmsteen’s宇宙 (that’s “universe” in Google Translate Japanese), if you’re not holding the guitar pick, you’re not part of the art. You’re just a highly paid karaoke performer. 🎤🚫
Meanwhile, Yngwie now handles most vocals himself, presumably because hiring humans leads to awkward situations where they develop egos. His current band is a well-oiled machine of obedient musicians: keyboardist Nick Marino, bassist Emilio Martinez, and drummer Kevin Klingenschmid — all of whom, one assumes, have signed blood oaths agreeing they will never, ever claim co-authorship on anything. 🤖
His 2021 album *Parabellum* — Latin for “Prepare For War,” which now feels weirdly appropriate — featured vocals on only four tracks. The rest? Just pure, unadulterated Malmsteen: no collaborators, no compromises, no mercy. ⚔️
And let’s not forget his recent clarification about his solo artist status: “I am a solo artist since January 1984. Every record I’ve made, it’s been a solo album. I even consider the ALCATRAZZ album a solo album.”
Pause. Rewind. 🛑
You mean *Rising Force*, the album that launched a thousand guitar store arguments, was a *solo* project even when he was in ALCATRAZZ? Sure, Jan. And I’m the Queen of Sweden. 👑🇸🇪
Look, we all respect Yngwie’s god-tier shredding. The man can make a Stratocaster weep, scream, and file a restraining order against jazz. But this whole “I did it all myself” narrative is starting to strain credibility more than a three-octave vibrato.
Still, you have to admire the commitment. While other aging rock stars are reuniting with former band members, Yngwie is out here defending his solo brand like a Viking guarding a hoard of Marshall stacks. 💪🛡️
So to all the former vocalists: sorry, but according to Malmsteen’s math, you’re not bandmates — you’re freelancers with great resumes. Now if you’ll excuse him, he has a 40th-anniversary tour to finish and another live album (*Tokyo Live*) to prove that yes, he really can do it all by himself. Even if it means singing while playing a guitar solo about Napoleon. 🥁🔥
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
