Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
MEGADETH Celebrates 40 Years of Murdery Business with a Jack Rack Collab That’ll Make You Say “Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying This?”
Breaking, Music News

MEGADETH Celebrates 40 Years of Murdery Business with a Jack Rack Collab That’ll Make You Say “Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying This?”

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Music lifestyle brand Pluginz, because apparently, music needs a lifestyle now 🙄, is cranking the lameness up to eleven with…

Duff McKagan Claims Ozzy Osbourne Stalked Him Since Childhood
Breaking, Music News

Duff McKagan Claims Ozzy Osbourne Stalked Him Since Childhood

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

GUNS N’ ROSES (the band that still exists, somehow) bassist Duff McKagan (who?) has graced us with a 19-minute (!!!)…

HINDER’s Cody Hanson on ‘Back to Life’ Album: We Finally Stopped Caring What You Haters Think of Our Band (Because We’re Awesome)
Breaking, Music News

HINDER’s Cody Hanson on ‘Back to Life’ Album: We Finally Stopped Caring What You Haters Think of Our Band (Because We’re Awesome)

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

In a riveting 🙄 new interview with the Caught On The Mike podcast, HINDER 🥁 drummer Cody Hanson and singer…

EDENBRIDGE, Back with STEAMHAMMER/SPV, Unleashes New Album ‘Set The Dark On Fire’ (Hope It’s Better Than Last Time)
Breaking, Music News

EDENBRIDGE, Back with STEAMHAMMER/SPV, Unleashes New Album ‘Set The Dark On Fire’ (Hope It’s Better Than Last Time)

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

EDENBRIDGE, those Austrian symphonic metallers who are definitely not stuck in 2003, have crawled back to Steamhammer/SPV, probably because nobody…

Ozzy’s Gone Walkabout Again, Hasn’t He? A ‘Seek-And-Find’ Book for the Terminally Bored
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy’s Gone Walkabout Again, Hasn’t He? A ‘Seek-And-Find’ Book for the Terminally Bored

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Los Angeles-based animation studio and book publisher Fantoons (who?) has announced the upcoming book “Where Is Ozzy?”, because apparently, we…

BRIAN TATLER: DIAMOND HEAD’s Not Dead, Just Playing Possum
Breaking, Music News

BRIAN TATLER: DIAMOND HEAD’s Not Dead, Just Playing Possum

Chord F. DiscordJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

In a groundbreaking, earth-shattering 💥 interview with Mark Kadzielawa of the prestigious 69 Faces Of Rock (nice), DIAMOND HEAD guitarist…

Perttu Kivilaakso’s Dream Collab List: Prepare for the Most Unexpected Musical Pairings EVER
Breaking, Music News

Perttu Kivilaakso’s Dream Collab List: Prepare for the Most Unexpected Musical Pairings EVER

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

So, at this weekend’s prestigious (lol) Download festival in the glamorous Leicestershire, United Kingdom, APOCALYPTICA’s main cello-strummer Perttu Kivilaakso, was…

Nancy Wilson Whines About Trump Stealing HEART’s ‘Barracuda’ for His Pathetic Military Parade No-No
Breaking, Music News

Nancy Wilson Whines About Trump Stealing HEART’s ‘Barracuda’ for His Pathetic Military Parade No-No

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

OMG! 😱 HEART guitarist Nancy Wilson is SO triggered! She’s totally losing it because the Trump administration dared to play…

LZZY HALE Boasts About Her Laziness: ‘Warm-Ups Are For Suckers’
Breaking, Games News

LZZY HALE Boasts About Her Laziness: ‘Warm-Ups Are For Suckers’

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

In a recent interview with Chaoszine (more like Chaos-SNOOZE-ine, amirite? 😂), HALESTORM’s Lzzy Hale, who apparently SOME people think is…

Savatage’s Back in Europe After 23 Years: Did Anyone Notice?
Breaking, Music News

Savatage’s Back in Europe After 23 Years: Did Anyone Notice?

Chord F. DiscordJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Oh, honey, bless their hearts. SAVATAGE, the band your grandpa probably told you was “progressive,” finally crawled out of whatever…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 94 95 96 … 122 Next

Latest posts

  • Because You Clearly Need to Pay to Exercise Outside on Grass like a Normal Human Being with Pure Barre
  • Waste Money on Overpriced Yoga Pants and Call it Pilates at lululemon
  • Curl Bar Block Party 4.0 Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better to Do with Your Saturday
  • The Silence of the Rock Bartender 💀
  • Maryland Deathfest 2026 Aftermovie | 4 Days of Rain, 0 Days of Regret! ☔🤘

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}