Ice Nine Kills Drops Another Banger About a Movie You’ve Totally Heard Of
So, the *totally* not overrated, RIAA-gold-certified horror metal “madmen” (🙄) ICE NINE KILLS, dropped “The Great Unknown.” It’s basically them…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Hopeless Records and Fat Wreck Chords Join Forces in a Desperate Attempt to Stay Relevant
OMG! 😱 Hopeless Records, like, totally bought Fat Wreck Chords! Is this the end of punk as we know it?…
Fozzy Barfs Up Another Turd, This Time It’s ‘Fall In Line’
FOZZY, the musical masterpiece 🤩 fronted by wrestling “icon” Chris Jericho and the guitar wizard 🧙♂️ from STUCK MOJO, Rich…
Baroness Announces ‘Red & Blue Tour – Part II: Electric Boogaloo’
So, BARONESS, bless their cotton socks, just finished a ‘sold-out’ (sure, Jan 🙄) East Coast tour where they played their…
WE CAME AS ROMANS Announce ‘All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed’ Album, Probably Still Doomed Though, Share ‘Culture Wound’ Single (Prepare for More Wounds)
OMG 😱, the metalcore overlords, WE CAME AS ROMANS, are gracing us with their presence AGAIN! Their new album, dramatically…
70000 TONS OF METAL Cruise Dumps Crappy Island, Reveals Band Lineup (as if you care) For 2026 Booze Cruise
70000 Tons Of Metal, or as I like to call it, “70000 Tons of Disappointment,” has bravely announced a change…
BUCKCHERRY Announces Geriatric Fall 2025 U.S Tour With Some Guy Named MICHAEL MONROE
Oh, honey, get ready for the geriatric rock event of the decade! 👴👵 California’s finest (debatable) rockers, BUCKCHERRY, are crawling…
K.K. Downing’s Back! (And Apparently Metal Depended On It)
Oh, the DRAMA! 🙄 K.K. Downing, formerly of that band JUDAS PRIEST (you know, the one he dramatically QUIT 🙄),…
Carcass Announces They’re Finally Bothering to Visit North America in 2025 (If We’re Still Alive)
British extreme metal pioneers CARCASS, those lovable geezers who’ve been churning out the same old riffs since before your dad…
Puscifer, the band no one can spell, Somehow Manages to Book Two LA Gigs
🤣OMG! You guys will NEVER guess what’s happening! PUSCIFER, aka Maynard’s side-hustle when he’s not busy being cryptic in TOOL…