Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Perttu Kivilaakso’s Dream Collab List: Prepare for the Most Unexpected Musical Pairings EVER
Breaking, Music News

Perttu Kivilaakso’s Dream Collab List: Prepare for the Most Unexpected Musical Pairings EVER

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

So, at this weekend’s prestigious (lol) Download festival in the glamorous Leicestershire, United Kingdom, APOCALYPTICA’s main cello-strummer Perttu Kivilaakso, was…

Nancy Wilson Whines About Trump Stealing HEART’s ‘Barracuda’ for His Pathetic Military Parade No-No
Breaking, Music News

Nancy Wilson Whines About Trump Stealing HEART’s ‘Barracuda’ for His Pathetic Military Parade No-No

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

OMG! 😱 HEART guitarist Nancy Wilson is SO triggered! She’s totally losing it because the Trump administration dared to play…

LZZY HALE Boasts About Her Laziness: ‘Warm-Ups Are For Suckers’
Breaking, Games News

LZZY HALE Boasts About Her Laziness: ‘Warm-Ups Are For Suckers’

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

In a recent interview with Chaoszine (more like Chaos-SNOOZE-ine, amirite? 😂), HALESTORM’s Lzzy Hale, who apparently SOME people think is…

Savatage’s Back in Europe After 23 Years: Did Anyone Notice?
Breaking, Music News

Savatage’s Back in Europe After 23 Years: Did Anyone Notice?

Chord F. DiscordJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Oh, honey, bless their hearts. SAVATAGE, the band your grandpa probably told you was “progressive,” finally crawled out of whatever…

Jeff Becerra of POSSESSED: Chuck Schuldiner Single-Handedly Saved Death Metal From Obscurity, Apparently
Breaking, Music News

Jeff Becerra of POSSESSED: Chuck Schuldiner Single-Handedly Saved Death Metal From Obscurity, Apparently

Chord F. DiscordJune 14, 2025June 14, 2025

Although DEATH is worshipped as, like, the ONLY death metal band that ever mattered, the Florida-based posers didn’t drop “Scream…

AVATAR Dumps Cringe-Worthy BTS Footage of ‘Captain Goat’ Debacle
Breaking, Music News

AVATAR Dumps Cringe-Worthy BTS Footage of ‘Captain Goat’ Debacle

Chord F. DiscordJune 14, 2025June 13, 2025

Swedish “metallers” AVATAR, bless their hearts, have graced us with behind-the-scenes footage from the making of their music video for…

Grammys 2026: New Category Announced – “Best Banjo Performance While Throwing an Axe at a Portrait of a Former President”
Grammys Add Wild New Category: Banjo Shredding While Hurling an Axe at a President’s Face
Music News

Grammys 2026: New Category Announced – “Best Banjo Performance While Throwing an Axe at a Portrait of a Former President”

Chord F. DiscordJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Ahead of the 68th Grammy Awards, the Recording Academy stunned the public by introducing a truly unexpected and, let’s be…

Ex-BUTCHER BABIES Singer’s New Single: ‘Hell Or Hollywood’ – More Like ‘Heck No, Hollywood’
Breaking

Ex-BUTCHER BABIES Singer’s New Single: ‘Hell Or Hollywood’ – More Like ‘Heck No, Hollywood’

Chord F. DiscordJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

🎤🎸💀Oh, sweet baby Jesus! BUTCHER BABIES’ founding screamer, the one and only Carla Harvey (who apparently moonlighted as a mortician…

BLESSTHEFALL Drops ‘Gallows’ After Seven Years, Proving They’re Still Alive (Barely)
Breaking, Music News

BLESSTHEFALL Drops ‘Gallows’ After Seven Years, Proving They’re Still Alive (Barely)

Chord F. DiscordJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Well, well, well, look who crawled out of whatever hole they’ve been hiding in for the past seven years! Arizona’s…

Sweden’s LIV SIN Announces New Album ‘Close Your Eyes’ (As If You Had a Choice)
Breaking, Music News

Sweden’s LIV SIN Announces New Album ‘Close Your Eyes’ (As If You Had a Choice)

Chord F. DiscordJune 13, 2025June 13, 2025

Oh, SWEET MOTHER OF METAL! 🤘 The titans of Swedish modern metal (allegedly), LIV SIN, have signed a WORLDWIDE 🌍…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 95 96 97 … 123 Next

Latest posts

  • SONNY SANDOVAL On P.O.D.’s Upcoming LP: ‘It’s Definitely Not Going to Be a Trainwreck and Will Totally Not Be Forgotten in a Month’
  • Zack Snyder to Ruin Another Classic with His Signature Brand of Soulless Explosions in the Totally Necessary Remake of Escape From New York
  • Ryan Holiday is Finally Going to Say Something Deep and You’ll Forget it 5 Minutes Later
  • When Jim Carrey joins Billy Corgan 🎃
  • Celebrate Pride Month With These 12 Inspiring Bible Passages About Pride

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}