Gen Zer Dies Of Starvation After DoorDash Driver Gets Flat Tire
NORFOLK, VA — A member of Generation Z reportedly starved to death while waiting for a DoorDash delivery that…
Category: Babylon Bee
Supreme Court To Hear Argument Between Siblings Over Who Called Shotgun
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a groundbreaking case that legal experts predicted would set a historic precedent for generations to…
UK Authorities Issue Stern Warning To British People To Stop Being Stabbed By Muslims
LONDON — In the wake of yet another deadly stabbing of a British citizen at the hands of a…
Thomas Massie Finally Recognized As True Libertarian Now That He Doesn’t Have A Job
GARRISON, KY — Congressman Thomas Massie has finally been recognized as a true libertarian after becoming unemployed. GARRISON, KY…
Massie Blames Defeat On Jews Of Rural Kentucky
LOUISVILLE, KY — Representative Thomas Massie has accused the Jewish population of rural Kentucky of being the cause of…
Old Guys Hanging Out At Denny’s At 6 A.M. Having Better Day Than You Could Ever Dream Of
LOST HILLS, CA — New reports show the four old guys hanging out at Denny’s at 6 a.m. are…
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids
OVERLAND PARK, KS — The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news…
Abigail Adams Starting To Believe Husband Made Up This Whole ‘Continental Congress’ As An Excuse To Hang Out With The Boys
QUINCY, MA — Weary from a major smallpox outbreak in her area, the wife of John Adams claimed she…
White House Insists High Gas Prices Are Small Price To Pay For Accomplishing Nothing In Iran
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the nation facing its highest gas prices in years, the Trump administration assured Americans that…
Wife Can’t Wait To Get Out There And Be Horrible At Gardening Again
BOISE, ID — With spring in full swing, one local woman expressed excitement at the chance to finally get…