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Category: Babylon Bee

Colorblind Man Has No Idea Who Is Winning
Babylon Bee

Colorblind Man Has No Idea Who Is Winning

FinnOctober 31, 2024November 5, 2024

TULSA, OK — According to sources, local colorblind man Jim Cone has no idea who is winning the presidential race…

New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins
Babylon Bee

New Polls Show That Trump Will Definitely Win Unless Harris Wins

FinnOctober 31, 2024November 5, 2024

U.S. — A new poll from NBC News shows definitively that Trump will win the 2024 presidential election unless Harris…

Democrats Remind Everyone A Winner May Not Be Declared Until 110% Of The Vote Is Counted
Babylon Bee

Democrats Remind Everyone A Winner May Not Be Declared Until 110% Of The Vote Is Counted

FinnOctober 31, 2024November 5, 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Americans continue to wait in line to cast their votes today, several prominent Democrats have stepped…

Kamala Harris Confused By Process Where She Needs To Get Votes To Be Selected
Babylon Bee

Kamala Harris Confused By Process Where She Needs To Get Votes To Be Selected

FinnOctober 30, 2024November 5, 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President Kamala Harris was heard questioning the voting process early Tuesday, reportedly confused as to why…

9 More Scary Facts About Guns
Babylon Bee

9 More Scary Facts About Guns

FinnOctober 29, 2024

Brought to you by: Strikeman You should be well aware by now that guns are the most dangerous things in…

Are you garbage? Know the signs
Babylon Bee

Are you garbage? Know the signs

FinnOctober 28, 2024November 1, 2024

If you’re a regular American who heard President Joe Biden refer to a huge swathe of the population as “garbage”…

Study Finds 100% Of Male Hikers Are Imagining They Are On A Quest During The Third Age Of Middle-Earth
Babylon Bee

Study Finds 100% Of Male Hikers Are Imagining They Are On A Quest During The Third Age Of Middle-Earth

FinnOctober 25, 2024October 25, 2024

U.S. — A groundbreaking new study has confirmed what countless scientists had suspected for decades, revealing an astounding 100% of…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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