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Category: Babylon Bee

10 Ways To Entertain Your Toddler
Babylon Bee

10 Ways To Entertain Your Toddler

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    Raising a toddler can be a challenge, but entertaining your toddler can be even more difficult. It’s not uncommon…

Mitch McConnell Returns To Senate As Force Ghost
Babylon Bee

Mitch McConnell Returns To Senate As Force Ghost

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — One of the mainstays of America’s legislative branch was once again seen roaming the corridors of…

Sydney Sweeney Tries To Gain Support Of Liberal Women By Murdering Multiple Children
Babylon Bee

Sydney Sweeney Tries To Gain Support Of Liberal Women By Murdering Multiple Children

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    LOS ANGELES, CA — Scandal struck Hollywood this week, as actress and businesswoman Sydney Sweeney attempted to gain support…

Supreme Court Rules Securing Elections Unconstitutional
Babylon Bee

Supreme Court Rules Securing Elections Unconstitutional

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a landmark decision just weeks before people head to the polls to vote in the…

Trump Promises To Bring Back $5 Footlongs If Republicans Win
Babylon Bee

Trump Promises To Bring Back $5 Footlongs If Republicans Win

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his latest attempt to entice voters to turn out for the November midterm elections, President…

Genius: Man Commits Crime To Fail Background Check And Get Out Of Serving In Children’s Ministry
Babylon Bee

Genius: Man Commits Crime To Fail Background Check And Get Out Of Serving In Children’s Ministry

FinnSeptember 14, 2026

    KANSAS CITY, MO — After being notified that he was on a list of members needing to submit updated…

Report: Wolverine Developed Healing Factor To Survive Canadian Healthcare System
Babylon Bee

Report: Wolverine Developed Healing Factor To Survive Canadian Healthcare System

FinnSeptember 14, 2026

    WESTCHESTER COUNTY, NY — As authorities continued to gather information about the rogue band of superpowered individuals known as…

Baptist Church Potluck Awarded Michelin Star
Babylon Bee

Baptist Church Potluck Awarded Michelin Star

FinnSeptember 14, 2026

    ATLANTA, GA — A local Baptist church attracted attention this weekend for throwing a potluck that was awarded a…

Serving On Jury With Shrill Liberal Women Added To List Of Torture Methods Under Geneva Conventions
Babylon Bee

Serving On Jury With Shrill Liberal Women Added To List Of Torture Methods Under Geneva Conventions

FinnSeptember 14, 2026

    GENEVA — A diplomatic council convened over the weekend to vote on a supplement to the Geneva Conventions officially…

Trump Vows To Send Every American One Million Dollars To Combat Inflation
Babylon Bee

Trump Vows To Send Every American One Million Dollars To Combat Inflation

FinnSeptember 14, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced a new plan today to combat inflation by sending every American one…

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