To Raise Stakes, U.S. Army Given One Pick In Each Round Of NBA Draft
NEW YORK, NY — Seeking a way to spice things up after decades of the same draft format and…
Category: Babylon Bee
Israelite Keeping Quiet That He Doesn’t Particularly Care For Milk Or Honey
MOUNT SINAI — In light of continued encouragement that the Israelites would enter a land “flowing with milk and…
Time Traveler From Year 3247 Warns They’re Still Making ‘Toy Story’ Movies
NEW YORK, NY — Citizens of the year 2026 were left confused on Tuesday after a rift in the…
Gas Pump Now Asks If You Want Car Wash, Receipt, Rewards, And If You Know The Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow
U.S. — Before allowing customers to fill up with gas, pumps will now ask about a potential car wash,…
‘Supergirl’ To Show That Girls Can Be Just As Good As Boys At Everything Except Box Office
U.S. — When Supergirl releases in theaters on June 26, executives from Warner Bros. Pictures expressed confidence that the…
‘What A Good Little Kitty You Are,’ Owner Says To Cat Who Is Currently Plotting Her Violent Death
TULSA, OK — Local cat owner Melissa Darst patted and praised her kitty, Bella, briefly interrupting Bella’s plotting of…
Nation’s Dumpster Fires Distance Themselves From Boston Red Sox
U.S. — The fires currently burning inside the nation’s dumpsters spoke out publicly on Tuesday to condemn their being…
Uh Oh! A Monkey Stole The Pope Hat And Now He’s Infallible
VATICAN CITY — In disastrous news for the Catholic Church, a mischievous little monkey stole Pope Leo’s hat and…
Visitors From Europe Tell Us Their 13 Most Surprising Discoveries In America
The World Cup has brought real excitement to these American shores, and not just in the form of soccer,…
Reflecting Pool Algae Surges Ahead Of Kamala In 2028 Democrat Presidential Polls
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The algae from the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool surged ahead of former Vice President Kamala Harris…