El-Sayed: Beheading Infidel With A Machete No Different Than A Haircut
LANSING, MI — During a live interview on Fox News, Democratic Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed forcefully defended the beheading…
Category: Babylon Bee
Hasan Piker Says Anyone Trying To Twist His Words As Antisemitic Is A Dirty Lying Jew
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA — One of the nation’s loudest progressive voices issued a strong defense on his own behalf…
Texas High School Proposes Adding Academics To Its Football Program
TOMBALL, TX — Signaling a dramatic shift in focus from its longstanding tradition, a local high school proposed adding…
Residents Of Heaven Torn Between Attending Chuck Norris’s Martial Arts Seminar And Going To Dolly Parton Show
HEAVEN — Heaven’s residents admitted conflict between having to chose between spending the afternoon at Chuck Norris’s martial arts…
Bugs Bunny Declares For WNBA Draft
LOS ANGELES, CA — Officials for the Women’s National Basketball Association announced this week they have received a letter…
In Honor Of Dolly Parton, Man To Attempt To Work All The Way From 9 To 5
SPRINGFIELD, IL — As news of the passing of beloved music legend Dolly Parton reverberated across America, tributes began…
Confirmed: Reel Of All Your Life’s Bloopers To Be Played When You Arrive In Heaven
ETERNITY — According to heavenly sources, the newly deceased who enter into the Lord’s rest are shown a blooper…
Trump Officially Classifies Liberal Women As Terrorist Organization
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In remarks delivered from the Oval Office on Tuesday, President Donald Trump announced that he had…
Hollywood Working On Darker, Grittier Reboot Of ‘Howdy Doody’
LOS ANGELES, CA — Nearly 65 years after The Howdy Doody Show was canceled, NBCUniversal announced plans to bring…
Apocalypse Draws Near As Last Remaining Universally Beloved Human Being Passes Away
Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer,…