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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Minnesotans Begin Fleeing To Somalia To Escape Violence

FinnJanuary 24, 2026

    MOGADISHU — Minnesotans have begun fleeing in droves to Somalia to escape the escalating threat of violence.   MOGADISHU —…

Babylon Bee

Frustrated Don Lemon Wonders What A Guy Has To Do To Get Sent To Men’s Prison

FinnJanuary 24, 2026

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — After a judge threw out the charges against him, a frustrated Don Lemon wondered what a…

Babylon Bee

Usha Informs JD They Will Not Be Naming Their Child ‘Thomas Bombadil Vance’

FinnJanuary 23, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the heels of the public announcement that the couple was expecting their fourth child this…

Babylon Bee

Wondering If ICE Is Doing Something Evil? Check Out Our Flowchart!

FinnJanuary 23, 2026

    ICE is all over the news lately, with conflicting reports about what’s actually happening. Many people have been left…

Babylon Bee

Wife’s Love Language Is Sending You Instagram Reels You Don’t Watch

FinnJanuary 23, 2026

    U.S. — The new report released this week indicated that your wife’s love language had been confirmed to be…

Babylon Bee

REPORT: If You Read This Headline You Are A Racist DO NOT READ

FinnJanuary 23, 2026

    URGENT — A new report indicates that if you read this headline, you are, in fact, a racist.   URGENT…

Babylon Bee

Aging George Soros Hoping To Ruin Just One More Country Before The End

FinnJanuary 23, 2026

    KATONAH, NY — As the geopolitical landscape continued to prepare for a changing of the guard, aging billionaire powerbroker…

Babylon Bee

‘Sinners’ Nominated For ‘Best Movie We Have To Nominate Or Else We Will Be Called Racist’

FinnJanuary 22, 2026

    HOLLYWOOD, CA — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences released its list of Oscar nominees for 2026,…

Babylon Bee

Apple Engineers Working Feverishly To Somehow Make Next iOS Update Even Worse

FinnJanuary 22, 2026

    CUPERTINO, CA — Sources within Apple’s Software Engineering Division confirmed that their team was working around the clock to…

Babylon Bee

Exhausted White Liberal Women Clock In For Another Long Day Protecting Migrant Sex Offenders

FinnJanuary 22, 2026

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Another long day of work was on the docket, as white liberal women clocked in for…

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