Man’s 47-minute Video Of Son’s Pee Wee Soccer Game Snubbed For Oscar
PHOENIX, AZ — Local dad Ben Grant was disappointed to learn that the 47-minute-long video he took of his…
Category: Babylon Bee
Tragedy: Liberal Gets Stabbed Before Finishing Telling People How Peaceful Islam Is
LONDON — Authorities closed off a section of Barking Road in East Ham on Friday following the death of…
Oh No: Why Did The Worship Leader Bring An Accordion Onto The Stage?
BREA, CA — Church members were reportedly aghast when, during a routine worship service, the worship leader brought an…
To Save Time, CNN Will Now Run Retractions Simultaneously With News Stories
ATLANTA, GA — As part of the channel’s ongoing quest to ensure accurate media reporting, CNN has elected to…
Jew Converts To Christianity After Internet Commenter Says, ‘Christ Is King, You Filthy Money-Grubbing Jew’
NEW YORK, NY — Heaven rejoiced today after a Jewish man accepted Jesus and converted to Christianity. Sources confirmed…
Morbidly Obese Pete Hegseth Denies Any Knowledge Of What Happened To Leftover Lobster For The Troops
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An uncharacteristically rotund Pete Hegseth held a press conference to deny having any knowledge of what…
Democrats Expel Fetterman After Repeated Warnings To Stop Supporting America
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senate Democrats voted to expel Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman on Thursday after their repeated warnings for…
Man Hires Oscars Orchestra To Play ‘Wrap It Up’ Music When Wife’s Stories Go Too Long
MILWAUKEE, WI — Local man Ed Clayfield reportedly saved himself an extended period of suffering by hiring members of…
SAVE Act Passes After Mike Lee Cleverly Changes Its Name To The ‘Give Congress A Raise Act’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite early indications to the contrary, the Senate passed the SAVE Act after Senator Mike Lee…
Iran Cancels Plan To Attack California After Seeing Gavin Newsom Already Destroyed It
TEHRAN — Rumors of the Ayatollah regime’s nefarious plot to launch an assault on the west coast of the…