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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Dad Fervently Prays For Daughter To Have Case Of Moderate Acne From Ages 14-23

FinnJanuary 31, 2026

    ARVADA, CO — Local dad Craig Smith has spent the past year fervently praying that his daughter Claire will…

Babylon Bee

Quiz: Tell Us How You Take Your Coffee And We’ll Tell You What Gender You Are

FinnJanuary 31, 2026

       Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer,…

Babylon Bee

Damning Photos Surface Of Clippy On Epstein Island

FinnJanuary 31, 2026

    U.S. — The new trove of Epstein documents has revealed damning photos of Microsoft’s former assistant “Clippy” visiting Epstein…

Babylon Bee

Report: Zucchini Not Bad After Covering It With Flour And Seasoning And Frying Out All Of The Taste

FinnJanuary 30, 2026

    U.S. — A new report out of Harvard University indicated that zucchini actually isn’t that bad after covering it…

Babylon Bee

Experts Warn Arresting Journalists Could Be Slippery Slope To Arresting Politicians And Other People Who Deserve It

FinnJanuary 30, 2026

    U.S. — Self-proclaimed journalist Don Lemon was arrested on Friday for allegedly raiding a church service and intimidating its…

Babylon Bee

Uh Oh: Trump Nominates Unknown Spanish Economist Ronaldo Paulino As Fed Chair

FinnJanuary 30, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprise choice to succeed Jerome Powell when his term expired in the spring, President…

Babylon Bee

Chilling: If They Can Arrest Don Lemon For Something As Simple As Breaking The Law, Imagine What They Can Do To You

FinnJanuary 30, 2026

    America woke up this morning to the chilling news that journalist Don Lemon had been arrested by the Department…

Babylon Bee

12 Most Insidious Secret Jewish Plots Revealed

FinnJanuary 29, 2026

    Everyone knows by now that the Jews are behind everything that happens in the world, but there are far…

Babylon Bee

Bruce Springsteen Threatens To Keep Releasing Songs Until Deportations Stop

FinnJanuary 29, 2026

    COLTS NECK, NJ — After putting out a new song titled “Streets of Minneapolis” as a show of support…

Babylon Bee

Checkmate: Trump Announces He Has His Own Doomsday Clock And It’s Infinity Seconds To Midnight

FinnJanuary 29, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists revealing that they had officially moved the Doomsday Clock to…

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