Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Billionaires Explain How They Made More Billions Somehow Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Billionaires Explain How They Made More Billions Somehow Again

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It’s about Situational Awareness, a multibillion-dollar hedge fund that has…

Serial Killer Leaves Polite Notes Asking For Money
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Serial Killer Leaves Polite Notes Asking For Money

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this wild story. Nearly six months after Nancy…

Marine Corps Base Gets Free BBQ Courtesy of Crashing Jet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Marine Corps Base Gets Free BBQ Courtesy of Crashing Jet

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

I was sipping my coffee and reading the news when I came across this story about a fighter jet crashing…

AI Doubts Suddenly Care About Corporate Reputations
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AI Doubts Suddenly Care About Corporate Reputations

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A US hedge fund, Situational Awareness, has had a wild ride,…

Trump Throws Support Behind ‘Save America Act’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Throws Support Behind ‘Save America Act’

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to make sense of the latest news from the world of politics. It…

Nation’s Water Now As Secure As Your Aunt’s Facebook Account
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nation’s Water Now As Secure As Your Aunt’s Facebook Account

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest cyberattack on US water systems, and I have to say,…

Fed Admits They Probably Should Have Raised Those Rates Already
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fed Admits They Probably Should Have Raised Those Rates Already

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the Fed’s latest move, and let me tell you, it’s a real…

Trump somehow making things worse for Blanche nomination
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump somehow making things worse for Blanche nomination

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest social media post, where he’s defending his pick…

Exxon rakes in $160 million daily because who needs affordable gas
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Exxon rakes in $160 million daily because who needs affordable gas

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Big Oil’s latest profits, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this…

Trump admin tries to rebuild election security infrastructure it gutted as midoffs near
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump admin tries to rebuild election security infrastructure it gutted as midoffs near

Big ElephantJuly 31, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Trump administration is trying to rebuild the federal system to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 2 3 … 338 Next

Latest posts

  • Sopranos Star Vincent Pastore Passes Away at 80
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social August 1 2026
  • TRUTH SOCIAL DISPATCH Donald posts on August 1 2026 from Truth Social
  • Metric and Friends Revive Indie Rock Glory in Brooklyn
  • It Ends – Just Kidding It’s Only the Beginning of Your Never Ending Nightmare and Also There’s a Sequel Coming Probably

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}