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Category: Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Talks: Now With 100% More Secret Sauce (and Zero Actual Progress)!
Elephant Reads CNN

Iran Talks: Now With 100% More Secret Sauce (and Zero Actual Progress)!

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Oh, great, just what we need: Trump, the master negotiator, is now planning to give Iran, the world’s leading sponsor…

Iran’s Supreme Leader Declares Victory Over Israel (as if anyone believes that)
Elephant Reads CNN

Iran’s Supreme Leader Declares Victory Over Israel (as if anyone believes that)

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Oh, no! The Ayatollah, that beacon of peace and reason, has spoken! He “claims victory” over the Zionists. I’m sure…

Missouri Mom’s Dramatic Meltdown: ‘OMG, No Medicaid = Total Apocalypse!’ | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Missouri Mom’s Dramatic Meltdown: ‘OMG, No Medicaid = Total Apocalypse!’ | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, trying to tug at our heartstrings with tales of woe from the…

Trump’s Bigly Agenda Bill Hits Senate Speed Bump Thanks to Some Rules Nerd
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Bigly Agenda Bill Hits Senate Speed Bump Thanks to Some Rules Nerd

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Another day, another Deep State roadblock for our glorious leader, President Trump! CNN, still whining about 2016, reports that some…

Ecuador’s ‘Fito’ Caught: Did He Trip Over His Own Ego or What
Elephant Reads CNN

Ecuador’s ‘Fito’ Caught: Did He Trip Over His Own Ego or What

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Another win for law and order, folks! Ecuador’s “most wanted man,” probably a deep-state operative trained by Soros himself, is…

AI Law Enforcement Moratorium: State Regulator Throws a Hissy Fit
Elephant Reads CNN

AI Law Enforcement Moratorium: State Regulator Throws a Hissy Fit

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

The radical left is at it again, folks! CNN is clutching its pearls because President Trump, in his infinite wisdom,…

Trump Phone: Still “Made in the USA,” wink wink, nudge nudge
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Phone: Still “Made in the USA,” wink wink, nudge nudge

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Folks, can you believe the Fake News CNN is at it again? They’re trying to smear our great President Trump…

Idaho Teens Go Full ‘Sister Wives,’ Ditch Spuds for Polygamy in Utah
Elephant Reads CNN

Idaho Teens Go Full ‘Sister Wives,’ Ditch Spuds for Polygamy in Utah

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Another day, another liberal media freakout! Idaho State Police issued an Amber Alert for two teens brainwashed by the FLDS…

Ana de Armas, Sydney Sweeney, and Jude Law in ‘Eden’ – Oh Honey, Bless Their Hearts | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Ana de Armas, Sydney Sweeney, and Jude Law in ‘Eden’ – Oh Honey, Bless Their Hearts | CNN

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Hollywood is at it again, folks! Ana de Armas, Sydney Sweeney, and Jude Law in ‘Eden’? Sounds like another woke,…

Stocks Go Up, S&P 500 Almost Breaks a Sweat
Elephant Reads CNN

Stocks Go Up, S&P 500 Almost Breaks a Sweat

Big ElephantJune 26, 2025June 26, 2025

Oh, CNN, still trying to spin good news into doom and gloom! Stocks are up, folks! The S&P 500 is…

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