Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Movie News

Every Single Danny Boyle Film, Ranked From ‘Meh’ to ‘Masterpiece’ (Spoiler: They’re All Brilliant)
Breaking, Movie News

Every Single Danny Boyle Film, Ranked From ‘Meh’ to ‘Masterpiece’ (Spoiler: They’re All Brilliant)

FinnJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

Danny Boyle, oh, Danny Boyle. Is he a cinematic genius or just a guy who got lucky with a few…

Russell Crowe Ruins Another Perfectly Good Movie: A Highlander Reboot
Breaking, Movie News

Russell Crowe Ruins Another Perfectly Good Movie: A Highlander Reboot

FinnJune 24, 2025June 24, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 💅, because Hollywood’s about to desecrate another classic! 🙄 They’re rebooting ‘Highlander’ because originality is *so*…

CLAWFINGER Signs Deal, Promises Music “Soon” (LOL)
Breaking, Movie News

CLAWFINGER Signs Deal, Promises Music “Soon” (LOL)

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

OMG! 😱 Those geriatric Swedes in CLAWFINGER, yes, the ones your dad used to listen to while wearing JNCO jeans👖,…

Chill Out! Hollywood Wants Ice-T Renamed to Avoid Confusing Him with Immigration Cop
Ice-T Melts Under Woke Pressure: Forced to Rebrand as Lukewarm-T
Movie News

Chill Out! Hollywood Wants Ice-T Renamed to Avoid Confusing Him with Immigration Cop

FinnJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

LOS ANGELES, California — In an industry where everything must be inclusive—except common sense, a new scandal has brewed around…

Watch: GARY HOLT (EXODUS/SLAYER) Teaches Germans How To Play Guitar (Spoiler: They Still Can’t)
Breaking, Movie News

Watch: GARY HOLT (EXODUS/SLAYER) Teaches Germans How To Play Guitar (Spoiler: They Still Can’t)

Chord F. DiscordJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

OMG! 😱 On June 11, some dude named Gary Holt, who apparently plays guitar for EXODUS (never heard of ’em…

Oh great, more ‘Hunger Games’? As if we needed another one with Glenn Close and Billy Porter
Breaking, Movie News

Oh great, more ‘Hunger Games’? As if we needed another one with Glenn Close and Billy Porter

FinnJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

Oh honey, hold onto your wigs! 💅 Glenn Close and Billy Porter, the icons we didn’t know we needed, are…

“The Waterfront”: More Like “The Waste-of-Time-front”
Breaking, Movie News

“The Waterfront”: More Like “The Waste-of-Time-front”

FinnJune 21, 2025June 21, 2025

The Waterfront’ gets a solid 5.5 out of 10 stars, which is basically the participation trophy of TV ratings. 🏆…

Tom Cruise and a Bunch of Other Losers to Get Pity Oscars
Breaking, Movie News

Tom Cruise and a Bunch of Other Losers to Get Pity Oscars

FinnJune 19, 2025June 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 The Academy is finally throwing a bone to Tom Cruise, giving him an Honorary Oscar! 🏆 You know,…

Spaceballs 2: The Squeakquel – Because Original Ideas Are Hard
Breaking, Movie News

Spaceballs 2: The Squeakquel – Because Original Ideas Are Hard

FinnJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

OMG! 😱 ‘Spaceballs 2’ is actually happening! Like, for realz? 🤣 I thought Mel Brooks was, like, a fossil by…

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Actually Made Money, Shocker
Breaking, Movie News

‘How to Train Your Dragon’ Actually Made Money, Shocker

FinnJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, look, another soulless live-action remake nobody asked for! 🙄 Yes, friends, ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ is back, and…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 110 111 112 … 120 Next

Latest posts

  • Fed Officials Casually Mention Impending Doom Again
  • Inter Arma Crushed Chapel Hill — Now Give Them Bigger Stages!
  • Inter Arma in Chapel Hill, NC
  • US to Ukraine: Stop Hitting Russia’s Energy, Please, For Us
  • Politicians Argue, Nothing Gets Solved, Film at 11

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.