Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: Music News

THREE DAYS GRACE’s ‘I Hate Everything About You’ Gets Streamed A Billion Times By People Who Clearly Have No Taste
Breaking, Music News

THREE DAYS GRACE’s ‘I Hate Everything About You’ Gets Streamed A Billion Times By People Who Clearly Have No Taste

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

THREE DAYS GRACE, those purveyors of fine Canadian cheese 🧀, have apparently stumbled into the Spotify “Billions Club” because, let’s…

Derrick Green’s folks totally stoked about him screaming for a living
Breaking, Music News

Derrick Green’s folks totally stoked about him screaming for a living

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

In a recent, totally unscripted and not-at-all-promotional interview with Finland’s *checks notes* Chaoszine (never heard of it, must be legit…

HATEBREED’s WAYNE LOZINAK Plans Brain Tumor’s Eviction Notice ASAP
Breaking, Music News

HATEBREED’s WAYNE LOZINAK Plans Brain Tumor’s Eviction Notice ASAP

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, apparently, HATEBREED’s Wayne Lozinak, the guy who shreds (or at least pretends to) on guitar, had a little something…

BILL WARD (Literally Who?) Claims to Almost Be Done With 2 (TWO!) New Solo Albums (LOL!)
Breaking, Music News

BILL WARD (Literally Who?) Claims to Almost Be Done With 2 (TWO!) New Solo Albums (LOL!)

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, apparently, geriatric drumming sensation 🥁 Bill Ward, bless his cotton socks, is still alive and kicking (or at least…

MACHINE HEAD Forced To Play With Random Dude Named ZACK OHREN At Norway’s TONS OF ROCK Festival
Breaking, Music News

MACHINE HEAD Forced To Play With Random Dude Named ZACK OHREN At Norway’s TONS OF ROCK Festival

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Hey there, metalheads! 🤘 Your favorite Bay Area band, MACHINE HEAD, allegedly kicked off their “summer” 2025 European tour on…

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt
Breaking, Music News

ZETRO the Party Pooper: Fired for Being a Debbie Downer in EXODUS, Claims Gary Holt

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

So, EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt, bless his little heart, did an interview with some Serbian journalist, Jadranka Janković Nešić (who?),…

Lou Gramm Still Hawking Foreigner Tunes in Florida: Yawn
Breaking, Music News

Lou Gramm Still Hawking Foreigner Tunes in Florida: Yawn

Chord F. DiscordJune 28, 2025June 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did anyone ACTUALLY watch that “performance” from Lou Gramm on the Djbobstar YouTube channel? 🤣 Seriously, it’s like…

AC/DC Headed to the White House: Aging Rockers Announce Plans to Run for U.S. President in 2028
AC/DC Announces 2028 Presidential Run — and No, It’s Not a Tribute Band
Music News

AC/DC Headed to the White House: Aging Rockers Announce Plans to Run for U.S. President in 2028

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Rock legends AC/DC have officially entered a new phase in their career: running for President of the United States. And…

ROYALE LYNN Drops ‘WTCH’ Music Video and a ‘Black Magic’ Album – Because We Needed More Magic
Breaking, Music News

ROYALE LYNN Drops ‘WTCH’ Music Video and a ‘Black Magic’ Album – Because We Needed More Magic

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

Okay, so Nashville “rocker” 🙄 (air quotes, people!) Royale Lynn, bless her heart, has unleashed her new auditory assault, “Black…

Smashing Pumpkins Milking ‘Machina’ For All It’s Worth With Ridiculous 25th-Anniversary Reissue Variants
Breaking, Music News

Smashing Pumpkins Milking ‘Machina’ For All It’s Worth With Ridiculous 25th-Anniversary Reissue Variants

Chord F. DiscordJune 27, 2025June 27, 2025

FINALLY! 🙄 After YEARS of promising, Billy Corgan (aka William Patrick Corgan, in case you forgot he’s trying to be…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 267 268 269 … 286 Next

Latest posts

  • MAGA’s Latest Bright Idea Implodes Spectacularly Again
  • Sienna Spiro Launches 2026 My House Tour Get Tickets Now
  • RZA and More Discuss V/H/S Mixtape and Killer Puppets
  • Gene Simmons Has Elon Musk and Donald Trump on Speed Dial
  • Local Man Somehow Trains For Marathon Without Posting About It Every Day On Facebook

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.