OMG! 😱 Did anyone ACTUALLY watch that “performance” from Lou Gramm on the Djbobstar YouTube channel? 🤣 Seriously, it’s like watching your grandpa try to do TikTok dances. Bless his heart, but maybe stick to bingo, Lou. 👴👵
Here’s the setlist of geriatric rock anthems:
00:00 Opening – The Foreigner Story (More like “The Foregone Glory Story” 😂)
03:31 Feels Like The First Time (More like “Feels Like the Last Time He Should Be Singing This” 💀)
08:28 Double Vision (I think Lou needs a new prescription, because that ain’t lookin’ good. 👓)
15:24 Long Way (A long way to the retirement home, maybe? 🧓)
20:29 Waiting For A Girl Like You (More like waiting for a nurse to bring him his meds. 💊)
26:15 Blue Morning, Blue Day (Blue because his voice is flatter than a pancake. 🥞)
30:48 Cold As Ice (Ironically, that’s what the audience’s reaction was.🥶)
35:24 Drum Solo (Lou’s Brother Ben) (Because everyone came to see the drummer…said no one ever.😴)
43:00 Midnight Blue (More like “Midnight Snooze” 😴)
48:48 That Was Yesterday (Yeah, and it should have stayed there. 🕰️)
53:40 Head Games (Playing head games with our ears, that’s for sure. 😵💫)
58:24 Urgent (Urgent need for a vocal coach, stat! 🚑)
01:07:34 I Want To Know What Love Is (I want to know what hearing protection is. 👂)
01:13:30 Juke Box Hero (Encore) (More like “Juke Box Zero” 🤷)
01:19:10 Hot Blooded (Encore) (His voice is more lukewarm tap water. 💧)
So, FOREIGNER is dragging Lou Gramm around Latin America like a washed-up beach ball? 🏖️ Apparently, Luis Maldonado is doing most of the heavy lifting, while Lou pops in for the last few songs like a surprise visit from your weird uncle. 🙄 And he’s planning on doing this for ANOTHER YEAR?! Someone, please, make it stop! 🛑
And get this, Lou is all excited that Maldonado is butchering FOREIGNER classics in Spanish! 🇪🇸 I’m sure the conquistadors are rolling in their graves. 💀 “Fabulous,” he says. I say “Fabulously Awful!” 🔥
Oh, and they FINALLY got inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. 🎉 Took them long enough, right? 🙄 I bet they had to bribe someone with prune juice and Werther’s Originals. 🍬👴 And of course, Mick Jones is too busy battling Parkinson’s to enjoy it. 😢 Talk about a party foul! 🥳
But wait, there’s more! Kelly Hansen is leaving FOREIGNER at the end of their summer tour, and he’s passing the torch to Maldonado! 🔥 More like passing the curse. 👻 This band is like a never-ending episode of “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” where the vocals are made up and the notes don’t matter. 🎶
Before this whole Latin American fiasco, Gramm graced the stage with FOREIGNER in Clearwater, Florida, for a couple of songs. 🎶 I bet the dolphins were covering their ears. 🐬🙉
Gramm was supposed to retire in 2024, but apparently, he’s addicted to the spotlight like a moth to a flame. 🐛🔥 And Rick Wills and Dennis Elliott are joining the circus too! 🎪 It’s like a reunion tour from the retirement home. 👴👵
Yes, Gramm was the voice of FOREIGNER‘s biggest hits. 🎤 But that was back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. 🦖
The 75-year-old Gramm left FOREIGNER in 2002 and has been battling health issues. 🤕 Maybe he should focus on battling those instead of battling the high notes. 🎶🚫
FOREIGNER replaced Gramm with Hansen in 2005, and Jones is battling Parkinson’s. 😔 This band is more drama than a soap opera. 📺 I’m starting a betting pool on who will be the last original member standing. 💰
In conclusion, this whole situation is a hot mess. 🔥 But hey, at least it’s entertaining, right? 😂 Keep rockin’ (or try to), guys! 🤘
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
