Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Black Sabbath

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller
Breaking, Music News

Sharon Osbourne Nukes Geezer Butler’s Grandma’s Attic Tapes: A Legal Thriller

Chord F. DiscordNovember 15, 2025November 15, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups ☕, because Sharon Osbourne, bless her perpetually youthful heart (and face 😜), has graced us with…

Rikki Rockett’s “Rockett Mafia” (Yeah, We Don’t Know Either) Lands at Pavement Entertainment
Breaking, Music News

Rikki Rockett’s “Rockett Mafia” (Yeah, We Don’t Know Either) Lands at Pavement Entertainment

Chord F. DiscordNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Pavement Entertainment, known for its exquisite taste in… uh… “music,” has proudly announced the signing of THE ROCKETT MAFIA. Yes,…

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused
Breaking, Music News

AEROSMITH, YUNGBLUD, and STEVE MARTIN Team Up For ‘My Only Angel’ Remake – Prepare to be Confused

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

So, like, AEROSMITH, those dudes who haven’t been relevant since your grandpa’s dentures were shiny and new, and Yungblud, who…

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge Debacle: Still Milking It in 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 24, 2025October 24, 2025

Bleecker Street, bless their tiny, misguided hearts, has apparently thrown some cash at Vertigo Live and that poor sap Rob…

Geezer Butler’s Jaw Hits the Floor: Ozzy’s Looking Rougher Than My Last Colonoscopy
Breaking, Music News

Geezer Butler’s Jaw Hits the Floor: Ozzy’s Looking Rougher Than My Last Colonoscopy

Chord F. DiscordOctober 22, 2025October 22, 2025

BLACK SABBATH’s Geezer Butler, the dude who thought naming himself after a slang term for an old man was peak…

SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)
Live, Music News

SLAYER to Commemorate 40 Years of ‘Reign In Blood’ at Texas SICK NEW WORLD Fest in 2026 (As If We Didn’t See That Coming)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 21, 2025October 21, 2025

OMG! 😲 So, the geriatric thrashers, SLAYER, are crawling out of their retirement homes to “celebrate” the 40th anniversary of…

Jacko’s Take: Ozzy’s Last Gig Was Basically a Pre-Death Party
Breaking, Music News

Jacko’s Take: Ozzy’s Last Gig Was Basically a Pre-Death Party

Chord F. DiscordOctober 16, 2025October 16, 2025

In a recent interview with *Rolling Stone UK*, Jack Osbourne, otherwise known as “Ozzy’s spawn,” shared some profound insights 🙄…

Lars Ulrich’s Brain Explodes: Metallica Still Popular, World Ends
Breaking, Music News

Lars Ulrich’s Brain Explodes: Metallica Still Popular, World Ends

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

On Thursday, October 9, the super prestigious 🙄 California Film Institute’s Mill Valley Film Festival, where cinematic masterpieces are born…

Burton needs to C. the BELL, announces more talking, again
Breaking, Music News

Burton needs to C. the BELL, announces more talking, again

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

Former FEAR FACTORY vocalist, the one and only Burton C. Bell (yes, THAT Burton C. Bell), has graced us with…

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime
Breaking, Music News

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Well, well, well, what have we here? 🤪 On September 26, prepare yourselves for the auditory equivalent of decaf coffee:…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 12 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump Brings Chaos To Ireland Because Why Not
  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Mötley Crüe in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.