So, Dave Mustaine, bless his cotton socks, is pondering the END of MEGADETH 🙄. Yes, you heard it right, folks! The man who brought us such bangers as “Peace Sells” (but who’s buying, really?) is thinking about hanging up his axe… or is he just trying to sell more tickets? 🤔 Let’s dive into this dumpster fire of drama! 🔥
According to a recent appearance on SiriusXM‘s “Trunk Nation With Eddie Trunk” (because who else would care?), Davey boy was quizzed about the possibility of a final show featuring every surviving member of MEGADETH. His response? A masterpiece of passive-aggressive shade-throwing. 🎭 Apparently, one unnamed bandmate (we all know who it is, Dave, just spit it out) has been naughty in the past, and Mustaine can’t possibly inflict that level of awkwardness on the rest of the band. 🙊
But wait, there’s more! He then proceeds to gush about his “intense relationship” with Marty Friedman, because, you know, nothing screams “professional” like comparing your ex-guitarists’ love to a soap opera. 💖 According to Mustaine, his relationships with Chris Poland and Jeff Young were just… not as good as Marty‘s. We get it, Dave, you miss the shred! 🎸 But don’t worry, he’d totally play with those guys again if Gar Samuelson wasn’t, you know, pushing up daisies. 🌼 How considerate! 😇
When asked about the grand finale, Mustaine floated the idea of his management booking “fake dates” so he wouldn’t bawl like a “175-pound wuss” on stage. 😭 Oh, the humanity! The sheer vulnerability! Someone get this man a tissue and a hug… or maybe just a bigger ego boost? 🤷
Enter David Ellefson, the ex-bassist who’s probably still bitter about, well, everything. In an interview with AlternativeNation.net (because that’s where all the cool kids hang out), Ellefson claims he doesn’t think about MEGADETH‘s demise “that much.” Yeah, right! We totally believe you, David. Just like we believe politicians never lie. 🤥
He then goes on to suggest that MEGADETH should reunite all the “O.G.s” like BLACK SABBATH did. You know, because comparing yourself to SABBATH is always a humble and accurate move. 🙄 He even offers to participate “on some level,” because who wouldn’t want to be a part of this train wreck? 🚂
But wait, there’s a twist! Ellefson also suggests that the farewell tour could be a cynical attempt to boost ticket sales. Say it ain’t so, David! Could it be that Mustaine is just playing us all like a fiddle? 🎻 Nah, couldn’t be! He’s far too genuine and trustworthy for that. 😂
In another interview, Ellefson admits he “knew about” the farewell tour, which was “a little shocking.” He also describes Mustaine as a “pretty fucking tough mule.” How… flattering? He also recounts a story about Pam Mustaine calling Dave an “old horse” who’s slowing down. The shade! The savagery! 🔪
When asked what would happen if he called Mustaine, Ellefson hilariously claims he might not even have Dave‘s number anymore. Oh, the drama! The intrigue! Is this a metal band or a daytime soap opera? ❓
But then, Ellefson‘s ELLEFSON-SOTO bandmate Jeff Scott Soto chimes in with the most sensible suggestion of all: Mustaine needs to call Ellefson and include him in the end of MEGADETH. Because, you know, every good band needs its Lennon and McCartney… or, in this case, its Mustaine and Ellefson. 🙄
In a special episode of his video podcast “The David Ellefson Show” (yes, that’s a real thing), Ellefson reflects on the “years and years of thoughts, feelings, emotions” that MEGADETH brings up. He also throws in some gold record name-dropping for good measure. 🥇 Because, you know, nothing says “humble” like showing off your achievements while simultaneously complaining about your former bandmate. 🏆
He then goes on to claim that Mustaine “ended our friendship in 2001” and “signed his name to it.” How dramatic! How… legally binding? 📜 He also throws in some shade about Mustaine‘s nerve damage and subsequent lawsuits. Because, you know, nothing says “closure” like rehashing old grievances. 💔
Ellefson then drops the bombshell that MEGADETH is a “Mustaine family-run business.” Gasp! Who would have thought? He also admits that he created his own solo projects to “get my yayas” without interfering with MEGADETH. Because, you know, nothing says “team player” like pursuing your own creative outlets on the side. 🎭
He also brings up the financial arrangements within the band, claiming that founding members should be entitled to “a piece of every everything.” Oh, the entitlement! The greed! Is this a metal band or a capitalist nightmare? 💰
He also reminds us that MEGADETH started with a “fuck you” to METALLICA. Because, you know, nothing says “originality” like basing your entire career on spite. 😠
In conclusion, Ellefson admits that he would “like to be a part of” MEGADETH‘s farewell tour. But, you know, he’s “not in the band anymore” and has “no say in it.” So, basically, he’s just complaining for the sake of complaining. 🤷♂️
So, there you have it, folks! The saga of MEGADETH‘s farewell tour continues. Will Mustaine and Ellefson ever bury the hatchet? Will MEGADETH go out with a bang or a whimper? And, most importantly, will anyone actually care? 🤔 Stay tuned for more updates on this thrilling tale of metal madness! 🤘
Press photo credit: Ross Halfin
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
