Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: cancer

SHARE ROSS: VIXEN Got Too Real, Had to Bounce Before the Feels Hit
Breaking

SHARE ROSS: VIXEN Got Too Real, Had to Bounce Before the Feels Hit

Chord F. DiscordJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Metal-Net (because who else would care?), former VIXEN bassist Share Ross, yes, *that* Share Ross,…

OSBOURNES: Still Alive? (Barely) – Comic Con Midlands, July
Breaking

OSBOURNES: Still Alive? (Barely) – Comic Con Midlands, July

Chord F. DiscordJune 2, 2025June 2, 2025

Ozzy Osbourne, the bat-biting legend, and his equally legendary (debatable) family are gracing the Comic Con Midlands in Birmingham, UK,…

Nancy Wilson Wishes Ann Wilson a Speedy Recovery From Her Imaginary Wheelchair for the ‘Royal Flush’ Tour: Will She Ever Walk Again
Breaking

Nancy Wilson Wishes Ann Wilson a Speedy Recovery From Her Imaginary Wheelchair for the ‘Royal Flush’ Tour: Will She Ever Walk Again

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2025May 31, 2025

In a riveting exposé with GoToWhitney, HEART guitarist Nancy Wilson deigned to address the burning question on everyone’s minds: why…

Vivian Campbell’s Backstage Shenanigans with Def Leppard Post-Bone Marrow: Prepare for Maximum Rock ‘n’ Roll (and Maybe a Few Unexpected Bathroom Breaks)
Breaking

Vivian Campbell’s Backstage Shenanigans with Def Leppard Post-Bone Marrow: Prepare for Maximum Rock ‘n’ Roll (and Maybe a Few Unexpected Bathroom Breaks)

Chord F. DiscordMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

DEF LEPPARD, those lovable dinosaurs 🦕, have graced us with some “behind-the-scenes” footage of Vivian Campbell’s triumphant return to the…

“Sinners” Movie: Clarksdale, Mississippi’s 15 Minutes of Fame (and Free Popcorn)
Breaking

“Sinners” Movie: Clarksdale, Mississippi’s 15 Minutes of Fame (and Free Popcorn)

FinnMay 30, 2025May 30, 2025

So, like, the Clarksdale Civic Auditorium was totally, utterly, and completely PACKED, okay? 🙄 You wouldn’t BELIEVE the sheer number…

Ron ‘Bumblefoot’ Thal: Proves Music Can Unite Even the Most Hopelessly Clueless (Probably)
Breaking

Ron ‘Bumblefoot’ Thal: Proves Music Can Unite Even the Most Hopelessly Clueless (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

Bumblefoot, the guy who played guitar in Guns N’ Roses for, like, five minutes, is now telling us all about…

DORO, Queen of Leather & Surprisingly Buoyant Seafaring Anthems, Drops New Banger This Friday (Prepare to Be Seasick)
Breaking

DORO, Queen of Leather & Surprisingly Buoyant Seafaring Anthems, Drops New Banger This Friday (Prepare to Be Seasick)

Chord F. DiscordMay 21, 2025May 21, 2025

Okay, so apparently the “Metal Queen” Doro Pesch (who?) is dropping a new single called “Warriors Of The Sea” this…

Lou Koller FINALLY Admits He’s Not Dying (For Now)
Breaking

Lou Koller FINALLY Admits He’s Not Dying (For Now)

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 21, 2025

Alright, listen up, ya bunch of whiny internet trolls! Lou Koller, the screechy frontman of those geriatric hardcore legends, SICK…

Breaking News: Two Guys You Barely Remember From Anthrax Sing A Song You’ve Heard A Million Times
Breaking

Breaking News: Two Guys You Barely Remember From Anthrax Sing A Song You’ve Heard A Million Times

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

OMG! 😱 You will NOT believe what happened! Former ANTHRAX singers John Bush (you know, the guy who WASN’T Joey…

VIVIAN CAMPBELL, Against All Odds (and Doctors), Still Ripping With DEF LEPPARD After Dodging Death (Again)
Breaking

VIVIAN CAMPBELL, Against All Odds (and Doctors), Still Ripping With DEF LEPPARD After Dodging Death (Again)

Chord F. DiscordMay 17, 2025May 17, 2025

BREAKING: Has-Been Band DEF LEPPARD Hauls Vivian Campbell’s Corpse Onstage For One Last Paycheck! 👴🎸💀 So, apparently, DEF LEPPARD, those…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 14 15 16 Next

Latest posts

  • David Byrne Warns About Dark Side Of AI Technology
  • Haywire Unveils Ambitious 2027 Global Concert Trek
  • ‘You Will Always Remember The Day You Almost Caught Ilhan Omar!’ Shouts Representative Jumping Aboard Somali Pirate Ship
  • Tips For Reducing Sodium Intake
  • Trump’s DOJ Generously Offers to Ignore Election Results for Friend

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.