Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: cancer

Eric Forrest humbled to have survived Voivod tour without losing his mind
Breaking, Music News

Eric Forrest humbled to have survived Voivod tour without losing his mind

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 6, 2026September 7, 2026

In a shocking turn of events that has left the metal world reeling (or not), former Voivod vocalist/bassist Eric Forrest…

Rikki Rockett Still Alive Somehow After Beating Cancer
Breaking, Music News

Rikki Rockett Still Alive Somehow After Beating Cancer

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 4, 2026September 4, 2026

In a stunning turn of events, POISON drummer Rikki Rockett has revealed that he’s still kicking after being diagnosed with…

Rikki Rockett trashes Poison’s Hollyweird because you still listen to it
Breaking, Music News

Rikki Rockett trashes Poison’s Hollyweird because you still listen to it

Chord F. DiscordAugust 31, 2026August 31, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some thrilling news? 🤯 I can barely contain my excitement… NOT. POISON drummer…

GREAT WHITE Guy Writes Book Because You Clearly Needed That
Breaking, Music News

GREAT WHITE Guy Writes Book Because You Clearly Needed That

Chord F. DiscordAugust 30, 2026August 30, 2026

I mean, who doesn’t want to read about the thrilling life of a rockstar who’s been playing the same power…

Dio’s Ghost Trapped In Overpriced VR Experience
Breaking, Music News

Dio’s Ghost Trapped In Overpriced VR Experience

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2026August 28, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for this? 🤯 Ronnie James Dio is coming to KnuckleBonz360, because what every metalhead…

Tuomas Holopainen somehow still has ideas for Nightwish songs
Breaking, Music News

Tuomas Holopainen somehow still has ideas for Nightwish songs

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2026August 26, 2026

I just can’t even contain my excitement right now. I mean, who needs actual music when you can just hear…

Deputy Turned Inmate Meets Expectedly Bad Ending
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Deputy Turned Inmate Meets Expectedly Bad Ending

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, Sean Grayson, the former Illinois sheriff’s deputy who fatally shot…

Vivian Campbell’s Cancer Back Because You Clearly Didn’t Send Enough Positive Vibes
Breaking, Music News

Vivian Campbell’s Cancer Back Because You Clearly Didn’t Send Enough Positive Vibes

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2026August 20, 2026

Oh no, Vivian Campbell is still alive and kicking, and we’re not sure how to feel about it 🤔. In…

Heavy music cures your sadness now buy the documentary
Breaking, Music News

Heavy music cures your sadness now buy the documentary

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some “Heavy Healing”? 🤯 Because, apparently, millions of people have been begging for…

Floor Jansen Butchers Metallica Classic With Bunch Of Sailors
Breaking, Music News

Floor Jansen Butchers Metallica Classic With Bunch Of Sailors

Chord F. DiscordAugust 19, 2026August 19, 2026

Oh boy, are you in for a treat! 🎉 NIGHTWISH singer Floor Jansen just performed with the Marine Band Of…

Posts pagination

1 2 … 14 Next

Latest posts

  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting
  • LEGALIZER: Man Asks if He Can Sue Alarm Clock, Immediately Turned Into a Federal Offense
  • Mastodon Celebrates 20 Years of Blood Mountain
  • Brandon Flowers Covers Oasis With Son Onstage In Salt Lake City
  • LEGALIZER: Man Asks Vending Machine Question, Somehow Triggers Federal Jurisdiction

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.