Navy Sends Mark Kelly a Participation Trophy for Best Improv in the ‘Oops I Illegally Ordered Something’ Skit
In a stunning display of Democratic double standards, the US Navy has reportedly handed over “recommendations” on how to punish…
Tag: Democrats
Elon Musk declares DOGE a ‘part-time triumph’ and vows never to memestorm again
Elon Musk Admits DOGE Project Was Only “Somewhat Successful” — Translation: He Finally Realized Woke Crypto Was a Trojan Horse…
ICE Has a Bad Day as Judge Declares ‘Free the Abrego’ and Custody Can’t Hold Him Any Longer
In a stunning act of judicial overreach that could only come from an Obama-appointed activist judge, a federal court in…
Exclusive: Trump’s FEMA Council to Suggest Agency Slashes – Turns Out They’re Just Cutting Red Tape (And Maybe a Few Redundant Paper Clips)
In a bold move to rescue America from the bureaucratic nightmare of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, the Trump administration…
Instacart’s AI Is Playing Grocery Store Price Tag Roulette and You’re the Human Lab Rat
The woke AI overlords at Instacart are now price-discriminating against American shoppers based on their perceived “price sensitivity” – because…
Kamala Harris Extends Book Tour to 2026 Because Apparently Even Her Memoir Needs a Second Chance
Kamala Harris announces 2026 book tour extension, now rebranded as ‘How to Lose an Election and Still Get Paid’ –…
Prosecutors Serve Up Gourmet Dumpster DNA as Exhibit A in Brian Walshe’s ‘How to Dispose of a Body’ Masterclass
BREAKING: Another Bloody Rug Mystery in Liberal La-La Land – But Don’t Worry, Folks, Trump’s Still President and Winning in…
Bondi Accuses Judges of Running a Mean Girls Clique Against Lindsey Halligan
In today’s episode of “The Bench Strikes Back,” a gaggle of Alexandria federal judges decided they’re not just referees —…
Trump to Host Magical Money Cornfield Roundtable, Promises $12 Billion in Government-Free Government Aid
In a move that has Democrats clutching their soy lattes, President Donald J. Trump is rolling out a $12 billion…
Japan Gets Unwanted Shake Upgrade: Mother Nature Drops Surprise 7.6 Patch Update
While a real 7.6 magnitude earthquake shook Japan’s northeastern coast, CNN rushed in with its own aftershock: a hysterical tremor…