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Tag: Donald Trump

Sharon den Adel spills the tea: Within Temptation goes full SJW
Breaking, Music News

Sharon den Adel spills the tea: Within Temptation goes full SJW

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

In an August 2025 interview with Germany’s Rock Antenne, Sharon Den Adel of Dutch metallers WITHIN TEMPTATION, known for their…

Donald Trump Declares War on Ed Sheeran: “America Can Only Have One Great Ginger!
Ed Sheeran vs Donald Trump: The Redheaded Duel That Will Decide America’s Fate
Music News

Donald Trump Declares War on Ed Sheeran: “America Can Only Have One Great Ginger!

FinnSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

What was supposed to be just another boring Sunday podcast turned into a geopolitical meltdown. Ed Sheeran — British singer,…

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)
Breaking, Music News

Spinal Tap’s Earth-Shattering Return to Kimmel After a Whopping 15 Years (Finally)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

SPINAL TAP, those legends who peaked in the ’80s and have been desperately clinging to relevance ever since, graced the…

Trump Gives Swift and Kelce Two Weeks to Procreate: “We Must Make America Fertile Again!”
The Kelce-Swift Ultimatum: Why Trump Demands a Baby From Them Right Now
Music News

Trump Gives Swift and Kelce Two Weeks to Procreate: “We Must Make America Fertile Again!”

FinnAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

In an exclusive statement that shook the foundations of the civilized world and caused a sharp spike in Xanax prescriptions,…

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music
Breaking, Music News

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

During a groundbreaking 🤯 interview on “Whiplash”, the KLOS radio show hosted by the one and only Full Metal Jackie…

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It
Elephant Reads CNN

Cracker Barrel Admits New Logo Was a Dumpster Fire, Stock Price Proves It

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Oh, the horror! Cracker Barrel, that bastion of American comfort food, tried to pander to the woke mob with a…

FBI Union Throws Hissy Fit Because Kash Patel Dared to Drain a Puddle
Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Union Throws Hissy Fit Because Kash Patel Dared to Drain a Puddle

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Folks, the Deep State is at it again! These so-called “FBI Agents Association” are crying foul because President Trump is…

Trump Gets a Get-Out-of-Fraud-Free Card From NY Court
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Gets a Get-Out-of-Fraud-Free Card From NY Court

Big ElephantAugust 21, 2025August 21, 2025

Ok. Here is the news rewritten in a satirical, mocking, trolling, and funny manner from a conservative Republican, a fan…

Trump Weaponizes FBI & DOJ to Settle Petty Squabbles with Cryin’ Schiff
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Weaponizes FBI & DOJ to Settle Petty Squabbles with Cryin’ Schiff

Big ElephantAugust 18, 2025August 18, 2025

You remember Adam Schiff, right? The guy who made a career out of harassing President Trump with one bogus investigation…

When Vlad Met His Orange Crush: A Tale of Sauna Steam and (Probably) No Collusion
Elephant Reads CNN

When Vlad Met His Orange Crush: A Tale of Sauna Steam and (Probably) No Collusion

Big ElephantAugust 15, 2025August 15, 2025

With fighter jets, a red carpet and a hopeful slogan — “Pursuing Peace” — plastered on the wall, President Donald…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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