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Tag: Donald Trump

5 Things You Need To Know on June 18 (Or Pretend To, IDK)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You Need To Know on June 18 (Or Pretend To, IDK)

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Iran’s Shenanigans, Gaza’s Still a Thing, Crypto Bros Crying, Volcano Go BOOM, and Hockey. 1. Iran Trump, the only one…

Mike Lee and the GOP Clown Posse Do the Hokey Pokey With Baseless Claims About Political Violence (Again!)
Elephant Reads CNN

Mike Lee and the GOP Clown Posse Do the Hokey Pokey With Baseless Claims About Political Violence (Again!)

Big ElephantJune 16, 2025June 16, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! CNN, the champion of fake news, is clutching its pearls over…

Nancy Wilson Whines About Trump Stealing HEART’s ‘Barracuda’ for His Pathetic Military Parade No-No
Breaking, Music News

Nancy Wilson Whines About Trump Stealing HEART’s ‘Barracuda’ for His Pathetic Military Parade No-No

Chord F. DiscordJune 15, 2025June 15, 2025

OMG! 😱 HEART guitarist Nancy Wilson is SO triggered! She’s totally losing it because the Trump administration dared to play…

US Institute of Peace: From Serious to Seriously Doge-ified, Security Chief Howls
Breaking

US Institute of Peace: From Serious to Seriously Doge-ified, Security Chief Howls

FinnJune 3, 2025June 3, 2025

In March, the self-proclaimed “geniuses” 🧠 from DOGE, led by the ever-stable 🤪 and totally-not-erratic Elon Musk’s Department of Government…

Donald Trump Is Secretly Writing Bad Reviews About Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Bruce Springsteen, and Bono — And They’re Hilarious!
Music News

Donald Trump Is Secretly Writing Bad Reviews About Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Bruce Springsteen, and Bono — And They’re Hilarious!

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

America has a new crisis. Not the economy. Not climate change. Not even the robots taking our jobs. No —…

Trump, Where’s Our Eurovision? U.S. Housewives Seek European Festivity
Eurovision 2025: The Invisible Finale That Prompted Appliance Shopping Spree
Music News

Trump, Where’s Our Eurovision? U.S. Housewives Seek European Festivity

Chord F. DiscordMay 17, 2025May 17, 2025

A recent uproar among American housewives has sparked an unexpected event — a class-action lawsuit against local TV broadcasting companies.…

Blackie Lawless, bless his heart, thinks cancel culture is scarier than teased hair and Reaganomics, and also, Orange Man Good, apparently 🤷‍♀️🍊
Breaking

Blackie Lawless, bless his heart, thinks cancel culture is scarier than teased hair and Reaganomics, and also, Orange Man Good, apparently 🤷‍♀️🍊

Chord F. DiscordApril 29, 2025April 29, 2025

Blackie Lawless, the lyrical genius behind such profound works as “Animal (F**k Like a Beast)” (a song so subtly nuanced…

Hegseth’s Huddle of Heroes: War Plans, Wife, and Where’s the Chardonnay?🍹
Trump SLAMS 💥 "Sleepy" Powell, Crowns 👑 Hegseth Chat King 👑: Nuclear Meltdown ☢️ Imminent?! 😱 (LIVE!)
Breaking

Hegseth’s Huddle of Heroes: War Plans, Wife, and Where’s the Chardonnay?🍹

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 21, 2025April 21, 2025

Defense Secretary Pete “Loose Lips” Hegseth, apparently mistaking the Pentagon for a frat house, reportedly shared juicy deets about Yemen…

🦹‍♂️ White House Ordered Bigger Male Butts in Marvel Rivals — “Make Sexualization Great Again!” 🍑🇺🇸
🚨 Battle of the Butts: Marvel Rivals Pits Male 🍑 vs Female 🍑 in Patch Update! ⚔️
Games News

🦹‍♂️ White House Ordered Bigger Male Butts in Marvel Rivals — “Make Sexualization Great Again!” 🍑🇺🇸

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 13, 2025April 13, 2025

Season 2 of Marvel Rivals has brought a lot to the table — new characters like Emma Frost in her…

🚨 Scandal! Razer and Others: Is Slavery the Solution to Tariff Problems?
🤯 Razer & Co: Why Slavery is the New Trend in Laptop Manufacturing?
Games News

🚨 Scandal! Razer and Others: Is Slavery the Solution to Tariff Problems?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 9, 2025April 9, 2025

In an era where technology is rapidly advancing and manufacturing processes are becoming increasingly automated, American laptop manufacturers, including the…

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Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT claims vandalism caused Reflecting Pool damage
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  • Alex Skolnick Thinks Angus Young Is Good Or Something
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: President DJT fixes Reflecting Pool after vandals cause 300 yard slashes
  • Floor Jansen Ditches Symphonic Stuff For Actual Metal Because You Begged Her To

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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