Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Dwayne Johnson

More Remakes and Sequels to Stream This Weekend Because Originality is Dead
Breaking, Movie News

More Remakes and Sequels to Stream This Weekend Because Originality is Dead

FinnSeptember 9, 2026September 9, 2026

New movies are flooding streaming services this week, because of course they are. It’s not like we’ve already reached peak…

Dwayne Johnson Eyes Music Career With Soul And Country Twist
Live, Music News

Dwayne Johnson Eyes Music Career With Soul And Country Twist

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 11, 2026

Dwayne Johnson wants you to hear what he is cooking up in the studio. In a new interview with Rolling…

Because You Clearly Needed Another Jumanji Sequel To Fill Void In Soul
Breaking, Movie News

Because You Clearly Needed Another Jumanji Sequel To Fill Void In Soul

FinnJuly 30, 2026July 30, 2026

The wait is over, and the trailer for Jumanji: Open World has finally arrived, because what the world really needed…

Universal Throws in Towel on Failed Fast and Furious Cash Grab One Year Early
Breaking, Movie News

Universal Throws in Towel on Failed Fast and Furious Cash Grab One Year Early

FinnJuly 15, 2026July 16, 2026

The Fast & Furious attraction at Universal Studios Florida is headed toward a supercharged ending, because of course it is.…

Moana Live Action Film Finds Itself In Tough Spot
Live

Moana Live Action Film Finds Itself In Tough Spot

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 8, 2026

There is one sequence in the remake of Moana that feels like it was worth all the time, effort, and…

Dwayne Johnson’s Live-Action Maui Makes His Grand Entrance in New ‘Moana’ Trailer—Brace Yourself for Rock-Solid Performances!
Breaking, Movie News

Dwayne Johnson’s Live-Action Maui Makes His Grand Entrance in New ‘Moana’ Trailer—Brace Yourself for Rock-Solid Performances!

FinnMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Oh great, another Disney “live-action” remake, because apparently the 2016 animated classic wasn’t *real* enough for us. Now we’re getting…

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)
Breaking, Movie News

2026 Golden Globes: The Winners (Because Apparently Someone Still Cares)

FinnJanuary 11, 2026January 11, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Hollywood’s Most Prestigious Night of Questionable Decisions Approaches 🚨 😱🎬 Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone who just wants to…

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse
Breaking, Movie News

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse

FinnDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

2026: The Year Hollywood Decided to Throw a $2 Billion Birthday Party for Itself (And Accidentally Invited Us) Ah yes,…

‘Moana’ Remake Teaser: Because the Original Wasn’t Good Enough, Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

‘Moana’ Remake Teaser: Because the Original Wasn’t Good Enough, Apparently

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Can you believe it’s only been, like, NINE years since Moana brainwashed our kids? 🤯 Apparently, that’s enough…

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle
Breaking, Movie News

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Morphs into Methuselah for New Flick, Sheds 3 lbs of Pure Muscle

FinnSeptember 9, 2025September 9, 2025

So, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, bless his heart 🙄, is apparently shedding his mountain of muscle 💪 to morph into…

Posts pagination

1 2 Next

Latest posts

  • Sometime in February in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Hinayana in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Fires in the Distance in Charlotte, NC (09/11/2026)
  • Mötley Crüe in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)
  • Tesla in Houston, TX (09/11/2026)

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.