Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Events

Chicago NYE 2026 Bar Crawl – Where Wrigleyville Becomes a Drunken Time Machine
Live

Chicago NYE 2026 Bar Crawl – Where Wrigleyville Becomes a Drunken Time Machine

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

🚨 LAST CALL FOR GLORY! 🚨 Chicago’s infamous “Wrigleyville Crawl” returns, offering 15+ bars, free grub, and questionable life choices.…

FLIRT FRIDAYS SEVEN MIDTOWN where the only thing hotter than the weather is the awkward small talk
Live

FLIRT FRIDAYS SEVEN MIDTOWN where the only thing hotter than the weather is the awkward small talk

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

Atlanta’s elite gather every Friday at Seven Midtown to sip $20 cocktails, admire their reflections in newly polished floors, and…

FLIRT FRIDAYS SEVEN MIDTOWN Where Even Your One-Night Stands Have a Commute
Live

FLIRT FRIDAYS SEVEN MIDTOWN Where Even Your One-Night Stands Have a Commute

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

🚨 ATTENTION ATLANTA! 🚨 Seven Midtown is OPEN and judging your fashion choices every Friday! 😏🍸 Yes, that’s right –…

5-Tage-Online-Retreat 2026 – Endlich frei sein, ohne das Sofa zu verlassen
Live

5-Tage-Online-Retreat 2026 – Endlich frei sein, ohne das Sofa zu verlassen

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

Den Weg zur inneren Freiheit gehen – endlich mal was kostenlos gibt! 🧘‍♀️✨ Also, du sitzt da, starrst ins Nichts…

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube
Breaking, Movie News

The Oscars Finally Realize People Only Watch for the Fashion Fails and Will Now Stream on YouTube

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who has been paying attention to the slow-motion train wreck that is…

Star Wars: Fate of the Old Republic – Watch the Trailer for the New Single-Player Video Game Because Apparently No One Told It Gaming Has Online Mode
Breaking, Games News

Star Wars: Fate of the Old Republic – Watch the Trailer for the New Single-Player Video Game Because Apparently No One Told It Gaming Has Online Mode

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except everyone with an internet connection), EA has…

Warner Bros. Discovery Slams Paramount’s Desperate Offer—Apparently “Lowball” Is Not a Negotiation Strategy
Breaking, Movie News

Warner Bros. Discovery Slams Paramount’s Desperate Offer—Apparently “Lowball” Is Not a Negotiation Strategy

FinnDecember 17, 2025December 17, 2025

The media landscape is a circus, and this week’s main attraction involves a very serious boardroom battle between two entertainment…

OCN NI Quality Assurance Training: Because Even Trolls Need Certificates
Live

OCN NI Quality Assurance Training: Because Even Trolls Need Certificates

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

Calling all wannabe quality police! 🕵️‍♂️ OCN NI is offering FREE training to become an Internal Quality Assurer – because…

Aren’t You Too Old for Blankets: Autistic Adults Gather to Discuss Why They’re Not
Live

Aren’t You Too Old for Blankets: Autistic Adults Gather to Discuss Why They’re Not

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 17, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Neurotypicals Banned from Our Secret Autistic Society Meetings (jk, you’re still invited… but behave) 🚨 Cue the confetti…

Divine Customer Support Line Open for Your Body’s Warranty Claims
Live

Divine Customer Support Line Open for Your Body’s Warranty Claims

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 16, 2025

🚨SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK? Jesus is booking appointments! 📅 First Sunday of the month at 6:30pm—Healing services with…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 150 151 152 … 297 Next

Latest posts

  • 2026 Primaries Set Stage for More Politics
  • Black Label Society in Raleigh, NC (09/15/2026)
  • Congress Reins In Trump, Again, Because Apparently That’s A Thing Now
  • Drake Drops Country Twist On Fear Of Missing Out Track
  • LA Traffic Gets a Little Too Creative

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.