News Tower: Prepare to be Mildly Titillated by its Launch Date!
Oh, look, another Early Access game FINALLY clawing its way out of the digital bargain bin 🗑️. Sparrow Night and…
Tag: Features
2026 Canadian Game Awards Nominations: Prepare to be Underwhelmed!
🎉OMG! The Canadian Game Awards are BACK in 2026!🎉 Get ready for the most Canadian thing since maple syrup-flavored poutine!…
“Send Help” Trailer: Sam Raimi Finally Crawls Out of His Hole After 15 Years (Were We Waiting?)
Oh great, another Sam Raimi movie! 🙄 As if we haven’t suffered enough, the guy who peaked with Spider-Man 2…
AGNOSTIC FRONT and DMC?! Is This a Joke?! ‘Matter of Life & Death’ or Matter of WTF?!
Okay, boomer, listen up! 👴 Your favorite geriatric punks, AGNOSTIC FRONT, are dropping a new album called “Echoes In Eternity”…
Luc Besson’s “The Big Blue” Drowning in 4K UHD: A Remastered Tragedy
Luc Besson’s snoozefest, The Big Blue – starring Jean Reno, Jean-Marc Barr (who?) and Rosanna Arquette (remember her?) – is…
Breaking News: Kylie Minogue Still At It After All These Years
It’s hard to believe (or is it? 🤔), but Kylie Minogue, the artist who brought us such earworms as “Can’t…
Monster High Abomination Doll Is An Intergalactic Eyesore
🤣OMG!😱 Mattel, the geniuses behind Barbie (and other plastic crack for your kids), have decided that the Xenomorph, that cute…
Scorpions: Still Stinging After All These Years (Like a Really Annoying Bee)
OMG! 😱 The geriatric rockers SCORPIONS, still clinging to life after SIX DECADES (👴👴👴), are unleashing “From The First Sting”,…
Iron Maiden Gets Minted: Officially Older Than Your Dad’s Coin Collection
The Royal Mint, bless their cotton socks, has decided to slap IRON MAIDEN‘s mug on a coin. 🙄 Apparently, these…
DANKO JONES Burps Out New Single ‘Diamond In The Rough’ Featuring Some Guy Named MARTY FRIEDMAN
Behold, the mighty (and I use that term VERY loosely) DANKO JONES, Toronto’s (allegedly) hardest-hitting rock ‘n’ roll trio, is…