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Tag: Gabe Newell

Gaming Payments in Canada: Fort Knox or Just a Paper Bag Full of Cash?
Breaking, Games News

Gaming Payments in Canada: Fort Knox or Just a Paper Bag Full of Cash?

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 5, 2026February 5, 2026

So, is your gaming wallet safer than your mom’s secret cookie stash? Maybe. Back in the day, getting a new…

Valve’s 30% Steam Tax Racket Gets Epic UK Roasting in Class Action Clown Show
Breaking, Games News

Valve’s 30% Steam Tax Racket Gets Epic UK Roasting in Class Action Clown Show

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 28, 2026January 28, 2026

Hold onto your wallets, gamers! 🤯 Valve, the beloved overlords of Steam (aka that place where your paycheck goes to…

Valve confirms Half-Life 3 is playable, meaning it’s only 30 years away from release! 🤡🎉
Breaking

Valve confirms Half-Life 3 is playable, meaning it’s only 30 years away from release! 🤡🎉

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 5, 2025May 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Tyler McVicker, the guy who’s been “reporting” on Half-Life 3 since, like, the Stone Age, says it’s PLAYTESTABLE!…

🤔 The Legendary Half-Life 3 Is Finally Here, But There’s a Catch… 🤯
😂 Valve Announced Half-Life 3? Well, Almost… 💩
Games News

🤔 The Legendary Half-Life 3 Is Finally Here, But There’s a Catch… 🤯

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 30, 2025March 30, 2025

The Jackal.Today editorial team sniffed around through our secret channels (yes, we have people even in Valve’s basement, where Gabe…

🕵️‍♂️ The Secret History of «Half Life 3»: Microwaves, GTA VI, and Gabe’s Struggle With Counting to Three
Exclusive: «Half Life 3» Was Released, But Gabe Newell Didn’t Tell Anyone — Here’s Why 🫠
Games News

🕵️‍♂️ The Secret History of «Half Life 3»: Microwaves, GTA VI, and Gabe’s Struggle With Counting to Three

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 6, 2025January 6, 2025

Our undercover investigation into Valve’s most elusive project, «Half Life 3», has finally borne fruit, and the results are nothing…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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