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BREAKING: DC goes full Wild West, National Guard joins the shootout – who needs Tombstone
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

BREAKING: DC goes full Wild West, National Guard joins the shootout – who needs Tombstone

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Another day, another Democrat-inspired crime! Two brave National Guardsmen, sent to D.C. to clean up the leftist mess, were shot.…

CNN Desperately Clings to Relevance as Trump Snubs South Africa from G20 Because Reasons
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Desperately Clings to Relevance as Trump Snubs South Africa from G20 Because Reasons

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

South Africa OUT, Poland IN! Another brilliant move by President Trump to drain the swamp of globalist cabals! CNN is…

Walmart’s Need for Speed: From Aisle 5 to the Finish Line, Can They Outrun Amazon in Diapers and Toilet Paper?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Walmart’s Need for Speed: From Aisle 5 to the Finish Line, Can They Outrun Amazon in Diapers and Toilet Paper?

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Walmart, bowing to the woke mob, replaces hardworking Americans with commie robots! I knew it! Walmart, now run by radical…

Trump Can’t Even Fire a Librarian, Sad
The Deep State's Grip on the Copyright Office Tightens! Can't Drain the Swamp When They're Hiding in the Library!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Can’t Even Fire a Librarian, Sad

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

The Supreme Court, likely infiltrated by radical leftists disguised as moderate judges, has temporarily blocked our glorious President Trump from…

CNN asks: Can these losers relight ‘Altadena’s pathetic little fire hazard’ for Xmas
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN asks: Can these losers relight ‘Altadena’s pathetic little fire hazard’ for Xmas

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

CNN reports that some Californian town got torched by wildfires, and some libtard got a tattoo of a star because,…

Gobble ‘Til You Wobble: Thanksgiving Restaurant Rush as Cooking at Home Becomes a Luxury for the Elite
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Gobble ‘Til You Wobble: Thanksgiving Restaurant Rush as Cooking at Home Becomes a Luxury for the Elite

Big ElephantNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

New York – Looks like even liberals are ditching their virtue-signaling, organic, locally-sourced Thanksgiving nightmares and heading to restaurants this…

Guns N’ Roses Use 500 Drones to Announce They’re Still Alive and Touring in 2026
Breaking, Music News

Guns N’ Roses Use 500 Drones to Announce They’re Still Alive and Touring in 2026

Chord F. DiscordNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

LOL! GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, apparently think we care enough to watch 500 drones buzz around like confused…

Glenn Hughes: Still Alive After All These Years (and Sober, Apparently)
Breaking, Music News

Glenn Hughes: Still Alive After All These Years (and Sober, Apparently)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

OMG! Glenn Hughes, aka the “Voice of Rock” (according to himself, probably), is TOTALLY celebrating 28 years of sobriety! 🎉…

The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies
Breaking, Music News

The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies

Chord F. DiscordNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

THE GEMS, the Swedish “hard rock” band featuring former THUNDERMOTHER (more like THUNDER-BORING, amirite?) members Guernica Mancini (vocals – allegedly),…

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple’s New Poster – Guaranteed to Bore You Less Than the Movie Itself
Breaking, Movie News

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple’s New Poster – Guaranteed to Bore You Less Than the Movie Itself

FinnNovember 26, 2025November 26, 2025

Oh, joy! Another sequel no one asked for! Expanding upon the cinematic ✨masterpiece✨ that Danny Boyle and Alex Garland graced…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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