Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: live

Todd Sucherman of STYX Reveals Shocking Truth: Drummers are Basically Just Flailing, Rhythmically-Challenged Garbage People
Breaking

Todd Sucherman of STYX Reveals Shocking Truth: Drummers are Basically Just Flailing, Rhythmically-Challenged Garbage People

Chord F. DiscordMay 24, 2025May 24, 2025

In a shocking exposé with The UK Drum Show Official Podcast (because who ELSE would interview him?), STYX drummer and…

Kelly Hansen Flees Foreigner Before They Realize He’s Not Lou Gramm
Breaking

Kelly Hansen Flees Foreigner Before They Realize He’s Not Lou Gramm

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

FOREIGNER’s Kelly Hansen, the guy who replaced the *real* voice, has decided to peace out. Apparently, screaming “Juke Box Hero”…

Shape of Despair at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/22/2025
Videos

Shape of Despair at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/22/2025

Chuck B. BallsyMay 23, 2025

Atmospheric/Funeral Doom Metal from Helsinki, Uusimaa!

Mournful Congregation at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/22/2025
Videos

Mournful Congregation at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/22/2025

Chuck B. BallsyMay 23, 2025

Funeral Doom Metal from Adelaide, South Australia!

Witchcraft at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/22/2025)
Videos

Witchcraft at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/22/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 23, 2025

Swedish Doom Metal!

Dusk at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/22/2025)
Videos

Dusk at Maryland Deathfest 2025 (05/22/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyMay 23, 2025

Doom/Death Metal from Green Bay, Wisconsin!

Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)
Breaking

Big Wreck Still Exists, Apparently, Releases Song Called ‘Believer’ (Whatever)

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

**Oh. My. Gawd. 🙄 It’s 2025 and apparently BIG WRECK is still a thing? Like, seriously? Did anyone actually ask…

DORO Drips Out Another Banger: “Warriors of the Sea” Will Cure Your Depression (Probably)
Breaking

DORO Drips Out Another Banger: “Warriors of the Sea” Will Cure Your Depression (Probably)

Chord F. DiscordMay 23, 2025May 23, 2025

OMG! Doro Pesch, the self-proclaimed German metal queen (more like metal court jester, amirite? 😂), has graced us with a…

OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN
Breaking

OH GREAT ANOTHER ELDEN RING ADAPTATION, BECAUSE WE NEEDED MORE PAIN

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 23, 2025May 24, 2025

OH. MY. GOD. 🙄 The geniuses at A24, the studio that brought you such cinematic masterpieces as… uh… *checks notes*……

MAMMOTH Plays “The End” for Mamas (Because Dads Don’t Matter, Apparently)
Breaking

MAMMOTH Plays “The End” for Mamas (Because Dads Don’t Matter, Apparently)

Chord F. DiscordMay 22, 2025May 22, 2025

Folks, buckle up because MAMMOTH (formerly known as the infinitely more metal MAMMOTH WVH, because initials are *so* last year)…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 208 209 210 … 222 Next

Latest posts

  • Apple Off Hook For Hosting Kiddie Porn Because Lawsuit Got Dismissed
  • Scholars Agree Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak Signals Outpouring Of God’s Wrath On Vegetarians
  • Wilt Drops Haunting New Single Bundy To Stream Now
  • Thundercat Hits Road for Distracted AF Tour Fall 2026
  • Last-Ever Global Warming Report Released For Posterity

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}