Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metacritic

Frostpunk 2 Because One Apocalypse Wasn’t Enough Now We Get to Freeze and Starve Some More with Even More DLC to Separate You from Your Money
Breaking, Games News

Frostpunk 2 Because One Apocalypse Wasn’t Enough Now We Get to Freeze and Starve Some More with Even More DLC to Separate You from Your Money

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

The wait is over, and the drama is about to unfold for all you Frostpunk 2 fans out there! 🚨👀…

Why Entertainment Reviews Need More Than Scores Because Let’s Be Real Who Actually Trusts a Random Number Assigned by Some Dude on the Internet Anyway
Breaking, Movie News

Why Entertainment Reviews Need More Than Scores Because Let’s Be Real Who Actually Trusts a Random Number Assigned by Some Dude on the Internet Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 15, 2026June 15, 2026

Oh boy, are you ready for a wild ride of subjective opinions and biased reviews? 🎢 Because, let’s be real,…

OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update
Breaking, Games News

OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 31, 2026May 31, 2026

Breaking News: 007 First Light Sells 1.5 Million Units in 24 Hours, Because Who Doesn’t Want to be a Suave…

Sony Totally Has Their Act Together and Definitely Isn’t Freaking Out About the PS6 While the PS5 Circles the Drain and Bungie Drains Their Bank Account
Sony's Financial Reports Are Out, and It's Time to Get This Party Started 🎉
Breaking

Sony Totally Has Their Act Together and Definitely Isn’t Freaking Out About the PS6 While the PS5 Circles the Drain and Bungie Drains Their Bank Account

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 8, 2026May 8, 2026

The wait is over, folks! Sony has finally released its yearly financial reports, and it’s a wild ride full of…

Metacritic Crowns Game Publishers of 2025: Square Enix Steals the Throne Like a Chocobo Thief
Metacritic's Annual Publisher Rankings: A Glorious Parade of Numbers That Prove Everything
Breaking, Games News

Metacritic Crowns Game Publishers of 2025: Square Enix Steals the Throne Like a Chocobo Thief

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 26, 2026March 26, 2026

Well, well, well, look who decided to grace us with their annual “we crunched some numbers and here’s who’s best”…

Minecraft Dungeons 2: Now With 100% More Dungeons and 200% More Confusion at Minecraft Live 2026
Hold Onto Your Pickaxes, Folks! Minecraft Dungeons 2 Is Coming to Ruin Your Life (Again)
Breaking, Games News

Minecraft Dungeons 2: Now With 100% More Dungeons and 200% More Confusion at Minecraft Live 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 24, 2026March 24, 2026

Well, well, well, look who decided to crawl out from under their cobblestone bed and grace us with their presence.…

Return To Silent Hill Gets Buried Alive by Fans and Critics in a Glorious, Dumpster-Fire of a Launch
Breaking, Games News, Movie News

Return To Silent Hill Gets Buried Alive by Fans and Critics in a Glorious, Dumpster-Fire of a Launch

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

🚨 SILENT SCREAMS: ‘Return to Silent Hill’ Crashes and Burns, Proving Some Games Should Stay Digital 🚨 Oh, what a…

How to Monetize Your Players’ Existential Dread: A Guide to the 20-Hour Grind
Breaking, Games News

How to Monetize Your Players’ Existential Dread: A Guide to the 20-Hour Grind

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 23, 2025December 23, 2025

Attention, gamers! The industry is collapsing under the unbearable weight of its own epicness! 🚨 In a stunning turn of…

Bleach: Rebirth of Souls Summons Yhwach DLC Just in Time to Ruin Your Holidays on December 10
Breaking, Games News

Bleach: Rebirth of Souls Summons Yhwach DLC Just in Time to Ruin Your Holidays on December 10

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

Oh, look, another cash grab! 💰 Bleach: Rebirth of Souls, the game nobody asked for, is gracing us with a…

Silent Hill 2 Remake on Xbox: Now You Too Can Experience Existential Dread for 10% Off
Breaking, Games News

Silent Hill 2 Remake on Xbox: Now You Too Can Experience Existential Dread for 10% Off

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Behold, peasants! Silent Hill 2, the game you’ve all been pretending to care about, has FINALLY graced the glorious Xbox…

Posts pagination

1 2 Next

Latest posts

  • ISIS Claims Responsibility For Reflecting Pool Algae
  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry
  • Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It’s 2014 Or Something
  • Liberal snowflakes freak out over Trump’s impending election domination wins
  • Liberal actor whines about Juneteenth being supposedly erased by Trump

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}