Ozzy “The Prince of Darkness (Maybe Just of a Recliner Now)” Osbourne Vows to *Try* at His Last Gig, But No Promises on Standing Up 🧎♂️🤘👵
Oh, bless his little bat-eating heart! 🦇 Ozzy Osbourne, bless him, says he’ll “do the best” he can at his…
Jackal.Today satirical news site
Jackal.Today satirical news site
Oh, bless his little bat-eating heart! 🦇 Ozzy Osbourne, bless him, says he’ll “do the best” he can at his…
Grindcore from England (without Shane Embury for some reason)
Oh my gawd, you guize! 😱 They’re actually doing it! They’re building a monument to Lemmy in Stoke-on-Trent. Stoke-on-freaking-Trent! 🤣…
OH. MY. SODOM. 😱 Angelripper, the thrash metal overlord, has decided that headbanging is for *peasants* and airports are, like,…
Behold, the geriatric Texan riff-lords, THE SWORD, have dusted off their amplifiers and emerged from whatever retirement home they were…
OMG! 😱 Iggor Cavalera, the dude who used to hit things in Sepultura (before they became, like, *totally* irrelevant), just…
When Obscura, Decrepit Birth, Fractal Universe, and even the legendary Atheist hit the stage in Greensboro, NC, you'd expect a packed house… but nope. 🫥 Hangar 1819 was maybe one-third full — either because it was a Tuesday or because none of these bands can really draw a crowd anymore, not even at a gas station parking lot next to a vape shop. 🤷♂️
Still, Obscura crushed it 🔥 — tight, technical, and full of energy, like they were headlining Wacken, not playing for the bartender, security guy, and a couple of die-hard metal nerds who showed up out of respect for Kummerer. Who, by the way, was in top form — meaner than the IRS and just as greedy. 😤 Rumor has it he’s the one banning any YouTube Shorts longer than a minute because Steffen Kummerer doesn’t want to lose his status as a stingy rock diva.
Obscura deserves better — but their path to the metal Olympus is still blocked by a big red gate, behind which a grumpy Steffen is busy kicking out anyone in the band who dares disagree with him. 😈 Hopefully, one day he chills out and they finally move up to bigger venues instead of staying the headliners of 40-person dive bar festivals with more pedals than people. 🐐
🎥 Watch it, like it, and even if Shred Fest was one-third full — the riffs were 100% fire!
So, Bruce Dickinson, AKA the air raid siren from IRON MAIDEN (the band your dad probably listens to), decided to…