Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metallica

Metallica generously gifts us another ‘Creeping Death’ video from Syracuse, because, you know, we haven’t seen that enough already πŸ™„πŸ€˜
Breaking

Metallica generously gifts us another ‘Creeping Death’ video from Syracuse, because, you know, we haven’t seen that enough already πŸ™„πŸ€˜

Chord F. DiscordMay 7, 2025May 7, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you HEAR?! Someone actually FILMED Metallica playing “Creeping Death” in Syracuse! πŸ™„ I mean, who cares, right?…

🀘 Official: Metallica Guarantees Protection From Their New Releases β€” Find Out How!
🎸 Lifetime Antivirus from Metallica for $274 β€” Is it Worth it?
Music News

🀘 Official: Metallica Guarantees Protection From Their New Releases β€” Find Out How!

Chord F. DiscordApril 30, 2025April 30, 2025

Attention all metalheads and loud music lovers! Legendary band Metallica has an exclusive offering: the deluxe reissue of their iconic…

Klaus Meine says Scorpions are too busy napping to sting us with new tunes 😴🎸.
Breaking

Klaus Meine says Scorpions are too busy napping to sting us with new tunes 😴🎸.

Chord F. DiscordApril 30, 2025April 30, 2025

OMG! 😱 The Scorpions, those geriatric rock gods, are STILL alive and kicking…mostly! Klaus Meine, Rudolf Schenker, and Matthias Jabs…

Hammett and Trujillo Cover Rush🎸: Somewhere, Neil Peart Just Did a Perfect Drum Fill in the AfterlifeπŸ‘΄
Breaking

Hammett and Trujillo Cover Rush🎸: Somewhere, Neil Peart Just Did a Perfect Drum Fill in the AfterlifeπŸ‘΄

Chord F. DiscordApril 27, 2025April 27, 2025

OMG! πŸ™„ You guys are NOT gonna BELIEVE what those two dudes from METALLICA, Robert “I Used to be in…

Exodus Guitarist Dares to Have an Opinion on Metallica, Instigating Metalhead Civil War 🀘πŸ”₯πŸ˜‚.
Breaking

Exodus Guitarist Dares to Have an Opinion on Metallica, Instigating Metalhead Civil War 🀘πŸ”₯πŸ˜‚.

Chord F. DiscordApril 22, 2025April 22, 2025

Oh, for the love of Lars! πŸ™„ Another “expert” weighs in on the eternal METALLICA debate. Radioactive MikeZ, bless his…

The Collection: Kirk Hammett: A Book Revealing All the Riffs Metallica’s Guitarist Stole Over 40 Years 😏
Musical Detective: Kirk Hammett and His Collection of 'Borrowed' Riffs" πŸ’Έ
Music News

The Collection: Kirk Hammett: A Book Revealing All the Riffs Metallica’s Guitarist Stole Over 40 Years 😏

Chord F. DiscordMarch 21, 2025March 21, 2025

The music world is buzzing with anticipation! 🎸 Kirk Hammett, the legendary guitarist of Metallica, is set to release a…

πŸŽΈπŸ¦‡ Animal Rights Activists Rage as Ozzy Osbourne Plans to Devour Bats On Stage! πŸ”₯🐾
πŸ‰βš‘ Bats, Metal & Mayhem: Black Sabbath’s Β«Final ShowΒ» Triggers Outrage! πŸŽΆπŸ¦‡
Music News

πŸŽΈπŸ¦‡ Animal Rights Activists Rage as Ozzy Osbourne Plans to Devour Bats On Stage! πŸ”₯🐾

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 5, 2025February 5, 2025

BIRMINGHAM, UK β€” A legendary concert or an absolute madhouse? The original lineup of Black Sabbath β€” Ozzy Osbourne, Tony…

🎸 Β« Metallica Stole Our Riffs! Β» – The Offspring’s Noodles Reveals Shocking Guitar Theft Allegations 🀘
😑 Β« Garage Inc.? More Like Garage THEFT! Β» – Noodles Exposes Metallica’s β€˜Inspiration’ Tactics 🎸
Music News

🎸 Β« Metallica Stole Our Riffs! Β» – The Offspring’s Noodles Reveals Shocking Guitar Theft Allegations 🀘

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 5, 2025January 5, 2025

When punk rock legends The Offspring and heavy metal titans Metallica shared the stage, it wasn’t just a battle of…

Sick New World 2025 Canceled Over Greed and Hidden Fees πŸ€˜πŸ’Έ
$5M for Metallica? The Ridiculous Demands That Killed Sick New World 2025 πŸ’€πŸ’°
Music News

Sick New World 2025 Canceled Over Greed and Hidden Fees πŸ€˜πŸ’Έ

Chord F. DiscordDecember 1, 2024December 3, 2024

In what can only be described as a tragicomic implosion of epic proportions, the 2025 edition of the Sick New…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 17 18

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 14, 2026
  • Nation’s Cybersecurity Now In Capable Hands Of Robots Apparently
  • Iran Gives America’s Blockade A Stress Test Because Why Not
  • Apple Off Hook For Hosting Kiddie Porn Because Lawsuit Got Dismissed
  • Scholars Agree Explosive Diarrhea Outbreak Signals Outpouring Of God’s Wrath On Vegetarians

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright Β© 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}