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Tag: Special Features

Pokémon Horizons Season 3 Part 3 Finally Coming to Save Us from Our Miserable Lives and Endless Waiting
Breaking, Movie News

Pokémon Horizons Season 3 Part 3 Finally Coming to Save Us from Our Miserable Lives and Endless Waiting

FinnMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Oh boy, are you guys ready for some electrifying news? 🚀💥 Pokémon Horizons is back with a bang, and we’re…

Events

REGGAE SUNDAY: Where the Rum Flows and the Dance Moves Go Rogue in the #1 Caribbean Party That’ll Make Your Grandma Say “Whaaat?”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 1, 2026

REGGAE SUNDAY The #1 Caribbean Party In The City (finally, a party that’s not just “meh”) LIMITED CAPACITY EVENT |…

Events

REGGAE SUNDAY: Where The Only Thing More Wasted Than The Rum Is The DJ’s Playlist

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 22, 2026

REGGAE SUNDAY The #1 Caribbean Party In The City LIMITED CAPACITY EVENT | 10:00pm-2am REGGAE SUNDAY🌴✨ The #1 Caribbean Party…

The Definitive (And Only) Ranking of Sam Raimi’s Most Bonkers Creations Because Your Opinion is Wrong Forever
Breaking, Movie News

The Definitive (And Only) Ranking of Sam Raimi’s Most Bonkers Creations Because Your Opinion is Wrong Forever

FinnJanuary 26, 2026January 26, 2026

Sam Raimi directs movies with the urgency of a sloth meditating 🐢. In the past 15 years, he’s blessed us…

Hollywood, Please Bring Back Making-Of Documentaries (So We Can See How Much Better It Was Before the CGI Overkill)
Breaking, Movie News

Hollywood, Please Bring Back Making-Of Documentaries (So We Can See How Much Better It Was Before the CGI Overkill)

FinnJanuary 16, 2026January 16, 2026

Marvel has officially entered its “Plotting the Void” era, and honestly, it’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it…

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse
Breaking, Movie News

The 15 Movies Hollywood Thinks Will Distract You From the Impending Apocalypse

FinnDecember 29, 2025December 29, 2025

2026: The Year Hollywood Decided to Throw a $2 Billion Birthday Party for Itself (And Accidentally Invited Us) Ah yes,…

REGGAE SUNDAY: Where The City Sways To The #1 Caribbean Party In The City
Events

REGGAE SUNDAY: Where The City Sways To The #1 Caribbean Party In The City

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 21, 2025

REGGAE SUNDAY🌴✨ The #1 Caribbean Party in The City… according to someone, somewhere, probably on a napkin. It’s back, and…

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises
Breaking, Movie News

Boogie Nights in 4K: Because You Haven’t Seen Enough Fake Penises

FinnNovember 20, 2025November 20, 2025

Wow, hold onto your hats, folks! Boogie Nights, that cinematic masterpiece (or, you know, just a movie) from 1997 by…

Re-Animator Gets the 4K Treatment Because Apparently One Corpse Party Wasn’t Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Re-Animator Gets the 4K Treatment Because Apparently One Corpse Party Wasn’t Enough

FinnNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, ANOTHER Re-Animator release? 🙄 Didn’t we all suffer enough back in the ’80s? But noooo, Second…

Blu-Ray Review – Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale (Finally!)
Breaking, Movie News

Blu-Ray Review – Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale (Finally!)

FinnNovember 13, 2025November 13, 2025

Ah, Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale. Because what the world REALLY needed was MORE Crawley family drama. Because apparently, we…

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Latest posts

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  • Breaking News Toy Story 5 Just Broke All the Records and Your Childhood is Officially Over Now
  • Breaking News Fairies Definitely Not Made Up by Your Crazy Aunt Are Living in Your Garden
  • Because Dad Obviously Wants to Eat a Whole Pig by Himself on Father’s Day at the Whitest BBQ Ever
  • Family Dinner Gone Wrong 💀

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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