Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Ted

Trump Team Gets Ultimatum: Let CNN On Plane Or Else
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Team Gets Ultimatum: Let CNN On Plane Or Else

Big ElephantOctober 20, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The White House has been excluding CNN from President Donald Trump’s…

White House forced to tolerate CNN and Politico some more
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House forced to tolerate CNN and Politico some more

Big ElephantOctober 14, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between the Trump administration and the media. It seems…

TED LUNDSTRÖM Hates Money And Success Apparently
Breaking, Music News

TED LUNDSTRÖM Hates Money And Success Apparently

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2026October 5, 2026

OH MY GOD, AMON AMARTH’S TED LUNDSTRÖM JUST SAID THE MOST PROFOUND THING EVER AND I’M SHAKING RIGHT NOW 🤯!…

Senate Finally Does Something About College Sports
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Finally Does Something About College Sports

Big ElephantSeptember 28, 2026

The Senate just passed a major bill to overhaul college athletics, and I almost choked on my coffee reading about…

CNN Gets Access Back Because Apparently That’s News Now
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Gets Access Back Because Apparently That’s News Now

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the White House, and I have to say,…

Because You Clearly Want More of the Same Old Franchises on Streaming This Weekend
Breaking, Movie News

Because You Clearly Want More of the Same Old Franchises on Streaming This Weekend

FinnSeptember 23, 2026September 23, 2026

New movies are coming to streaming this week, because of course they are. It’s not like the Content Mines have…

House Dems Freak Out Over AI, Want Recess Canceled Pronto
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

House Dems Freak Out Over AI, Want Recess Canceled Pronto

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in Washington, where a group of House Democratic lawmakers…

GOP Convention Crowd Calls For Violence Because Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Convention Crowd Calls For Violence Because Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the Republican midterm convention got a little heated,…

JD Vance tries to convince Jews he’s not that bad
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

JD Vance tries to convince Jews he’s not that bad

Big ElephantSeptember 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Vice President JD Vance’s recent remarks to the Republican Jewish Coalition, and…

Apple TV Prices Surge Because You Weren’t Streaming Enough
Breaking, Movie News

Apple TV Prices Surge Because You Weren’t Streaming Enough

FinnAugust 29, 2026August 29, 2026

The inevitable has happened: Apple TV is raising its prices. As of August 28, a monthly subscription will now cost…

Posts pagination

1 2 3 Next

Latest posts

  • Politicians Reassure Us Of Their Loyalty To Various Things Somehow
  • FCC Chair Suddenly Expert On Fake Things
  • Spin of the Day: Local leaders claimed readiness for floods, but first responders reported being unprepared. — 9% Mostly Reality
  • Meta Forks Over $25 Billion Because Cambridge Analytica Was a Thing
  • Kanye West Live At AT&T Stadium Tickets Available Now

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.