Jamie Dimon Pledges a Paltry $10B to Save America (Finally!)
JPMorgan Chase, bowing to the brilliance of President Trump, is FINALLY investing in America! $10 billion to secure our supply…
Tag: White House
Analysis: Orange Man Can’t Forget: Indictments Unlock New Level of Presidential Revenge-Fest
Another day, another victory for justice! It seems the witch hunt is finally over, and the swamp creatures are being…
White House throws epic side-eye at Colombian Prez’s wild tale of Yankee boat brawl off Venezuela
Another day, another socialist South American leader whining about America! President Petro of Colombia is now claiming that our strikes…
Trilogy Metals Stock Goes Brrrrr: Uncle Sam Buys a Slice
Another day, another victory for President Trump and America! While the liberal media obsesses over their latest manufactured outrage, Trump…
Trump to Farmers: Here’s Your $10B ‘Sorry I Started a Trade War’ Gift
Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re crying about farmers supposedly having a “tough year” because of President…
Trump Declares Himself Winner of Hamas-Netanyahu Spat, Because Of Course He Did
Can you believe it? After five days, Hamas FINALLY responded to President Trump’s brilliant 20-point plan to end the Gaza…
White House Prepares to Yeet Thousands Into Unemployment Line
Another day, another Democrat-engineered crisis! Sleepy Joe and his commie cronies are holding our great nation hostage over their radical,…
White House Uses Portland Protests as Excuse to Unleash Trump’s Crime-Fighting Fantasy on America
Another day, another Democrat city descends into chaos, and who’s there to clean up the mess? That’s right, President Trump!…
Rep. Jeffries Weeps: Biden’s White House Ghosted Me Since, Like, Forever Ago
Another day, another Democrat trying to blame our glorious President Trump for their own failures! Representative Lawler, bless his heart,…
ATTENTION! Military temper tantrums, crybaby convention, and a plus-size победитель: CNN’s daily dose of drama
👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! If you’re feeling a little out of whack, it’s probably because the liberal media…