Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Zombies

Dead Island 3 Finally Crawling Out of Its Own Grave—Release Date? Not Today, Zombie!
Breaking, Games News

Dead Island 3 Finally Crawling Out of Its Own Grave—Release Date? Not Today, Zombie!

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 16, 2025December 16, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Dead Island 3 Is Officially In Development, Because Apparently We All Didn’t Learn Our Lesson Last Time 🧟‍♂️💀…

Capcom Finally Remembers These Resident Evil Games Exist
Breaking, Games News

Capcom Finally Remembers These Resident Evil Games Exist

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 15, 2025December 15, 2025

🚨BREAKING: Capcom Is Apparently Rebooting Your Childhood Trauma—Again—With Resident Evil Code Veronica & Zero Remakes!🎉 😱 In a shocking twist…

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help
Breaking, Games News

John Carpenter’s Toxic Commando (PC) Preview—When Your Graphics Card Cries for Help

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 12, 2025December 12, 2025

Imagine a world where the only thing standing between you and total existential dread is a chainsaw, a chainsaw-wielding mutant,…

“Hold Onto Your Blocks: Minecraft’s New Barely-Controllable Pixel Beasts & MoJank’s Latest Recipe for Chaos!”
Breaking, Games News

“Hold Onto Your Blocks: Minecraft’s New Barely-Controllable Pixel Beasts & MoJank’s Latest Recipe for Chaos!”

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 11, 2025December 11, 2025

🐄 Hold onto your pickaxes, folks, because Minecraft just dropped its latest “content bomb”—Mounts of Mayhem™—and it’s precisely as chaotic…

IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed
Breaking, Movie News

IMDb Desperately Tries to Predict 2025’s ‘Popular’ Films Because Apparently We Can’t Wait to Be Disappointed

FinnDecember 9, 2025December 9, 2025

BREAKING: Humans Still Obsessed With Superheroes, IMDb Reports (Shocking Absolutely No One) 😱 Oh, joy! The fine folks at IMDb—who…

Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom
Breaking, Movie News

Avengers: Endgame Returns to Theaters to Distract You From Impending Doom

FinnDecember 5, 2025December 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you hear the earth-shattering news? Avengers: Endgame, the movie that made you cry harder than when your…

OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness
Breaking, Movie News

OMG! Bone Temple Trailer: Dr. Kelson vs Jimmy Crystal – 28 Years of Awkwardness

Pixel P. SnarkbyteDecember 3, 2025December 3, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sony Pictures just dropped the *second* trailer for 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, and let’s be real,…

“We Bury The Dead” Poster: Starring People You’ve Heard Of, Because Zombies Aren’t Enough
Breaking, Movie News

“We Bury The Dead” Poster: Starring People You’ve Heard Of, Because Zombies Aren’t Enough

FinnNovember 22, 2025November 22, 2025

Oh, SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS! 🧟‍♂️ Another zombie flick? Because the world CLEARLY needed more of those! 🙄 Prepare yourselves for…

“We Bury The Dead” – Prepare to Yawn as Daisy Ridley and Brenton Thwaites Battle Zombies (Again!) in This Trailer
Breaking, Movie News

“We Bury The Dead” – Prepare to Yawn as Daisy Ridley and Brenton Thwaites Battle Zombies (Again!) in This Trailer

FinnNovember 19, 2025November 19, 2025

Oh, JOY! Another zombie flick! 🙄 Because we *totally* haven’t seen enough of those already. Apparently, some catastrophic military oopsie-daisy…

Joe Keery, Liam Neeson, and Some Lady vs Moldzilla: The Cold Storage Trailer No One Asked For
Breaking, Movie News

Joe Keery, Liam Neeson, and Some Lady vs Moldzilla: The Cold Storage Trailer No One Asked For

FinnNovember 14, 2025November 14, 2025

Oh, joy! Another movie where humanity is about to be wiped out by something nasty 🙄. This time, it’s a…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 3 4 5 … 7 Next

Latest posts

  • Bill Gates Invests In New Sex Trafficking Startup
  • Prominent Muslim Leader Resigns
  • Democrat Candidate For Michigan District 32 Sanitation Board Promises To Free Palestine
  • Devil May Cry Remake Because The Original Wasn’t Already Perfect And Didn’t Deserve To Be Left Alone
  • OZZY OSBOURNE’s Super Gross Throne That He Probably Peed On A Few Times To Be Glorified At Birmingham Museum & Art Gallery Like It’s A Real Historical Artifact Or Something

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}