SAN FRANCISCO—Immediately reconsidering her decision to treat herself to a little spending spree upon seeing how much it would cost, local woman Christina Rogers reportedly scrapped her plan to splurge Thursday on account of the price. “I told myself I was going to reward my hard work this week by dropping some serious dough on a nice shirt, but then I saw what they charge for a nice shirt,” said Rogers, adding that she abandoned the idea of spending lavishly on herself when she checked the price tag and realized she would have to pay $89.99 plus tax. “This money is burning a hole in my pocket, but the hole isn’t that big. Hopefully I’ll have a chance to splurge more responsibly if this goes on sale in a month or two.” At press time, sources confirmed Rogers had taken her desire to splurge to the clearance rack.
The post Plan To Splurge Scrapped On Account Of Price appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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