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Month: October 2026

Trump’s Most Influential Tweet Still Somehow Not His Worst
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Most Influential Tweet Still Somehow Not His Worst

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about Jesse Farrar, the guy who tweeted a pretty prophetic joke back in 2016.…

Kushner Negotiates Peace While Profiting From War Nearby
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Kushner Negotiates Peace While Profiting From War Nearby

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems Jared Kushner has been playing a dual role –…

LEGALIZER: Man Asks If Taping Grocery List to Fridge Is a Federal Crime, Gets Charged With One
legalizer

LEGALIZER: Man Asks If Taping Grocery List to Fridge Is a Federal Crime, Gets Charged With One

Chord F. DiscordOctober 1, 2026

A bewildered citizen set the modern legal system on its ear this week when he posed what he thought was a lighthearted hypothetical: "Is it a federal crime to…

Treasury Yields Finally Higher Than Your Rent
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Treasury Yields Finally Higher Than Your Rent

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the US bond market, and let me tell you, it’s a wild…

Helicopter Crash Kills 2 Because California Traffic Wasn’t Deadly Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Helicopter Crash Kills 2 Because California Traffic Wasn’t Deadly Enough

Big ElephantOctober 1, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a medical helicopter that crashed off Catalina Island near Los Angeles, and…

South Park Tackles Billionaire Penises Invading South America
Live

South Park Tackles Billionaire Penises Invading South America

Pixel P. SnarkbyteOctober 1, 2026

Billionaires have always been a bunch of penises, but they’re really starting to get annoying, what with their data centers,…

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