Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and MAHA influencers have promoted the use of peptides, short-chain amino acids with a range of purported but often unsubstantiated health benefits. The Onion examines the pros and cons of these supplements.
PRO
Have met same rigorous safety standards as Kranked XXXtreme Nuclear Berry Preworkout
Something interesting to talk about on next Hinge date
Survivors might enjoy enhanced health and fitness
Injecting unvetted substances better than injecting nothing at all
New thing to blame when health remains bad
CON
Would need to learn what peptides are
Some unregulated peptides have yet to be officially approved by Joe Rogan
Don’t get to choose which Kennedy you’ll look like
Fewer pig bones available for glue production
Unable to tell if you’re getting too much or too little arsenic without an ingredient list
The post Pros And Cons Of Using Peptides appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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