WASHINGTON—Calling the attention the incident was receiving yet another example of liberal media bias, the White House downplayed on Friday the fact that a hyena was currently biting down on the ass of President Donald Trump. “No one should be surprised that all the scrutiny from the mainstream press is focused squarely on the spotted hyena with its jaws dug into the right buttock of the president and not on our historically prosperous economy,” said assistant press secretary Beni Rae Harmony, adding that there was sadly no accomplishment impressive enough to stop the media from running footage of the animal that had gnawed through the rear pocket of Trump’s suit pants and latched onto the flesh underneath. “Besides, this hyena is obviously just a juvenile that probably doesn’t weigh more than 80 pounds and lacks the mandible strength of a fully grown adult—but you won’t hear that in all the fake news headlines, let alone how tariffs have brought down prices across the country.” At press time, access to Trump had been cut off except for those media outlets that agreed not to mention that the president was now partially digested by a reticulated python.
The post White House Downplays Hyena Biting Down On Trump’s Ass appeared first on The Onion.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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