Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Live
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Randy Blythe of LAMB OF GOD Thinks His Day Was, Like, Totally Unbelievable, Man
Breaking, Music News

Randy Blythe of LAMB OF GOD Thinks His Day Was, Like, Totally Unbelievable, Man

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

So, LAMB OF GOD, bless their little metal hearts, got to play at Ozzy Osbourne’s “farewell” (yeah, right, we’ve heard…

SLAYER’s Back, Apparently London Didn’t Suffer Enough The First Time
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER’s Back, Apparently London Didn’t Suffer Enough The First Time

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

So, the geriatric thrash metal “legends” 👴 SLAYER, fresh from their crypts, decided to grace us with their presence for…

Ozzy Osbourne Refuses Megadeth at Final Black Sabbath Show After Confusing Them with McDonald’s
“Mustaine Is a Happy Meal,” Claims Ozzy in Late-Stage Confusion
Music News

Ozzy Osbourne Refuses Megadeth at Final Black Sabbath Show After Confusing Them with McDonald’s

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

At what was supposed to be a legendary farewell concert for Black Sabbath in Birmingham, UK, one key band was…

John Bush’s Wild Ride: From Armored Saint to Almost Metallica (But Not Really)
Breaking, Music News

John Bush’s Wild Ride: From Armored Saint to Almost Metallica (But Not Really)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

So, apparently, some dude named John Bush, who sang for ANTHRAX (lol, remember them?) and ARMORED SAINT (who?), was almost…

Scorpions Biopic ‘Wind Of Change’: Prepare to be blown away (by boredom)
Breaking, Music News

Scorpions Biopic ‘Wind Of Change’: Prepare to be blown away (by boredom)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 6, 2025July 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 A trailer just dropped for Wind Of Change, the Scorpions biopic, filmed at Warner Bros. Studios Leavesden in…

Ozzy and the Geezers: Still Alive? (Barely) Birmingham Bash!
Breaking, Music News

Ozzy and the Geezers: Still Alive? (Barely) Birmingham Bash!

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

So, apparently, Ozzy Osbourne, bless his heart, mumbled his way through what they’re calling his “last” performance earlier tonight (Saturday,…

OSCAR GARCIA’s TERRORIZER LA Wastes Everyone’s Time at ‘End Meaningless Noise Vol 3’ in the City of Angels
Breaking, Music News

OSCAR GARCIA’s TERRORIZER LA Wastes Everyone’s Time at ‘End Meaningless Noise Vol 3’ in the City of Angels

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

So, get this: Vocalist Oscar Garcia’s ego trip, I mean, version of TERRORIZER, cleverly disguised as TERRORIZER LA (because originality…

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham
Breaking, Music News

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Metal Pilgrim has uploaded a full video tour of the the Ozzy Osbourne “Working Class Hero” exhibition, which opened in…

TESTAMENT’s CHRIS DOVAS Proves He Can Hit Things With Sticks In New Drum-Cam Video From Down Under
Breaking, Music News

TESTAMENT’s CHRIS DOVAS Proves He Can Hit Things With Sticks In New Drum-Cam Video From Down Under

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

OMG! 😱 Newbie drummer Chris Dovas (ex-SEVEN SPIRES, who?) just dropped a drum-cam video of him butchering “D.N.R. (Do Not…

SLAYER’s Back From The Grave (Again!) Cardiff Gets Rained In Blood (Literally)
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER’s Back From The Grave (Again!) Cardiff Gets Rained In Blood (Literally)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 4, 2025July 4, 2025

OMG! SLAYER, those “retired” thrash metal legends (air quotes for dramatic effect), graced us with their presence at Blackweir Fields…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 141 142 143 … 179 Next

Latest posts

  • Justice Kagan Calls Out Conservative Colleagues For Democracy Fail
  • Trump’s Potential Tantrum Sparks Fierce GOP Jockeying
  • Spotify Removes Over 50M Fake Tracks Annually In Ongoing Crackdown
  • Guatemalan Smuggler Gets 30 Years for Texas Tragedy of Epic Proportions
  • Michael Snubbed for Golden Globes Musical Comedy Category

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
October 2026
S M T W T F S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Sep    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.