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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Iron Maiden Demands You Stop Filming Their Concerts With Your Potato Phone (But We All Know You Won’t)
Breaking

Iron Maiden Demands You Stop Filming Their Concerts With Your Potato Phone (But We All Know You Won’t)

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

British heavy metal dinosaurs IRON MAIDEN, bless their geriatric hearts, are lumbering back onto the world stage with their “Run…

P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords
Breaking

P.O.D. Guitarist Declares Rock Fans Too Dumb to See Beyond Power Chords

Chord F. DiscordMay 20, 2025May 20, 2025

OMG! 🙄 Marcos Curiel from P.O.D. (Still a band?!) gave an interview where he basically said they’re musical geniuses who…

Josh Freese’s EXCLUSIVE List of “Top 10 Reasons” Foo Fighters REALLY Fired Him (Spoiler Alert: It Involves Dave Grohl’s Underwear)
Breaking

Josh Freese’s EXCLUSIVE List of “Top 10 Reasons” Foo Fighters REALLY Fired Him (Spoiler Alert: It Involves Dave Grohl’s Underwear)

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

Okay, so like, 🙄 Josh Freese, who apparently thought he was hot stuff, 🙄 has graced us with a list…

Within Temptation’s Sharon Promises Yet ANOTHER “New Sound” (We’ve Heard This One Before, Right?)
Breaking

Within Temptation’s Sharon Promises Yet ANOTHER “New Sound” (We’ve Heard This One Before, Right?)

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sharon Den Adel, the elven empress of symphonic cheese, just dropped a BOMBSHELL! 💣 Apparently, WITHIN TEMPTATION, those…

Katatonia Drops New Emo Anthem “Temporal” From Their Album So Depressing It Makes NyQuil Look Like a Rave 🎉😴.
Breaking

Katatonia Drops New Emo Anthem “Temporal” From Their Album So Depressing It Makes NyQuil Look Like a Rave 🎉😴.

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Sweden’s gloom merchants, KATATONIA, are BACK! And by “back,” I mean they’re releasing MORE music designed to make…

John Corabi Claims Next Solo Album Will Be “Eclectic,” Which Probably Means It’ll Be…Something 🤷‍♂️😂🎸
Breaking

John Corabi Claims Next Solo Album Will Be “Eclectic,” Which Probably Means It’ll Be…Something 🤷‍♂️😂🎸

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

OMG! 😱 Corabi, the dude who briefly replaced Vince Neil in Mötley Crüe (remember that? No? Exactly!), is now apparently…

Suede’s Back, Apparently, With a Record About Being Sad, Probably
Breaking

Suede’s Back, Apparently, With a Record About Being Sad, Probably

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

Suede, bless their cotton socks (or should that be leather trousers?), are BACK! 🥳 With their TENTH studio album, creatively…

Oh NO! Chris Beattie SHOCKED He Got KICKED From Hatebreed! Who COULD Have SEEN That Coming?
Breaking

Oh NO! Chris Beattie SHOCKED He Got KICKED From Hatebreed! Who COULD Have SEEN That Coming?

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

So, apparently, Chris Beattie, the dude who held the bass hostage in Hatebreed for, like, ever, finally decided real estate…

WARMEN (Featuring That Keyboard Guy From The Band You Used To Like): New Album ‘Band Of Brothers’ Coming Soon (Probably Won’t Be As Good As Something You Already Own)
Breaking

WARMEN (Featuring That Keyboard Guy From The Band You Used To Like): New Album ‘Band Of Brothers’ Coming Soon (Probably Won’t Be As Good As Something You Already Own)

Chord F. DiscordMay 19, 2025May 19, 2025

WARMEN, the totally-not-a-vanity-project of ex-CHILDREN OF BODOM keyboard tickler Janne “Warman” Wirman (because, let’s be honest, who remembers the keyboardist…

Jane’s Addiction: Officially Deader Than Disco, According to Dave Navarro (RIP Hope)
Breaking

Jane’s Addiction: Officially Deader Than Disco, According to Dave Navarro (RIP Hope)

Chord F. DiscordMay 18, 2025May 18, 2025

OMG! 😱 Eight whole months after JANE’S ADDICTION (more like JANE’S ADDICTION to DRAMA 🙄) canceled their U.S. tour because…

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