Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
    • Spin Of The Day
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
PARADISE LOST Announces New Album ‘Ascension’ (Because ‘Descension’ Was Too Mainstream), Shares ‘Silence Like The Grave’ Single (Prepare to Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

PARADISE LOST Announces New Album ‘Ascension’ (Because ‘Descension’ Was Too Mainstream), Shares ‘Silence Like The Grave’ Single (Prepare to Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

PARADISE LOST, those lovable dinosaurs of British gothic metal (yes, they’re still around!), are dropping their 17th album, “Ascension”, on…

KREATOR Releases Trailer for Utterly Riveting (Not!) Documentary ‘Hate & Hope’
Breaking, Music News

KREATOR Releases Trailer for Utterly Riveting (Not!) Documentary ‘Hate & Hope’

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 A trailer for the most epic, totally-not-overhyped documentary about German thrash metal legends, KREATOR, entitled “Kreator – Hate…

DIRKSCHNEIDER & GERIATRIC CREW Drops Schmaltzy New Single And Eye-Bleeding Video ‘Hellbreaker’
Breaking, Music News

DIRKSCHNEIDER & GERIATRIC CREW Drops Schmaltzy New Single And Eye-Bleeding Video ‘Hellbreaker’

Chord F. DiscordJune 7, 2025June 6, 2025

DIRKSCHNEIDER & THE OLD GANG (DATOG), because acronyms are cool 😎, the project featuring former ACCEPT members Udo Dirkschneider (vocals,…

Volbeat Drops New Single ‘Demonic Depression’ – Is This Their Darkest Tune Yet (Or Just Another Tuesday)?
Breaking, Music News

Volbeat Drops New Single ‘Demonic Depression’ – Is This Their Darkest Tune Yet (Or Just Another Tuesday)?

Chord F. DiscordJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

VOLBEAT, those Danish rockabilly dudes who still think it’s 2005, have dropped a music video for “Demonic Depression”. Yes, you…

Airbourne Burps Out First “New” Song In Six Years, Still Sounds Like AC/DC
Breaking, Music News

Airbourne Burps Out First “New” Song In Six Years, Still Sounds Like AC/DC

Chord F. DiscordJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

AIRBOURNE, those lovable Aussie larrikins who haven’t had an original thought since 1975, are back with “Gutsy,” their first new…

Daron Malakian and Scars on Broadway Drop a New Album After a Century, Prepare to be ‘Addicted To The Violence’ or Not, Whatever
Breaking, Music News

Daron Malakian and Scars on Broadway Drop a New Album After a Century, Prepare to be ‘Addicted To The Violence’ or Not, Whatever

Chord F. DiscordJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

Fresh off the heels of SYSTEM OF A DOWN’s triumphant sold-out South American stadium tour (you know, the one where…

Belinda Carlisle, Aging Pop Icon, Desperately Clings to California Relevance with Yet Another Album No One Asked For
Breaking

Belinda Carlisle, Aging Pop Icon, Desperately Clings to California Relevance with Yet Another Album No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordJune 6, 2025June 6, 2025

Belinda Carlisle, bless her heart, is apparently still at it. She’s dropping a new album called Once Upon A Time…

BUSH Drops New Single ‘The Land Of What Now?’ From Upcoming Album ‘I Beat…My Meat’
Breaking, Music News

BUSH Drops New Single ‘The Land Of What Now?’ From Upcoming Album ‘I Beat…My Meat’

Chord F. DiscordJune 5, 2025June 9, 2025

Grammy-nominated (but did they win? 🤔), multi-platinum (back when people actually bought CDs 💿) rock band BUSH (still around? 👴)…

Gene Simmons Says The Beatles Are Better Than Your Dead Relatives’ Music Taste
Breaking, Music News

Gene Simmons Says The Beatles Are Better Than Your Dead Relatives’ Music Taste

Chord F. DiscordJune 5, 2025June 5, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! 🤘 Your favorite fire-breathing, money-hoarding demon 👹, Gene Simmons, has once again graced us with his…

Madonna’s Finally Unleashing That 80s Synth-Pop Album No One Asked For
Breaking, Music News

Madonna’s Finally Unleashing That 80s Synth-Pop Album No One Asked For

Chord F. DiscordJune 5, 2025June 5, 2025

Madonna, bless her pointy bra, is FINALLY gracing us with Veronica Electronica, a project so secret, so hush-hush, that it…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 143 144 145 … 166 Next

Latest posts

  • McConaughey and Harrelson’s Comedy Series Falls Flat with Cliches
  • Carnifex in Greensboro, NC (09/22/2026)
  • All Shall Perish in Greensboro, NC (09/22/2026)
  • Extermination Dismemberment in Greensboro, NC (09/22/2026)
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Kaitlan Collins and CNN still covering Donald J Trump despite claims

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.