Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis
OMG! 😱 Former ARCH ENEMY vocalist Alissa White-Gluz wants you to know how much she appreciates your “love and support”…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL
Bassist Jørn “Necrobutcher” Stubberud, the only reason Norwegian black metallers MAYHEM haven’t faded into obscurity, deigned to speak to Mexico’s…
HELLOWEEN Cancels Asian Tour Because Michael Kiske Ate Too Much Wasabi
OMG! 🎃 Seems like those geriatric German power metallers 🤘 from HELLOWEEN 🧙♀️ have had to CANCEL their eagerly (not…
Saint Etienne Finally Bother to Say Goodbye (Probably) to UK and Ireland
So, Saint Etienne, those indie-pop relics, are finally crawling out of whatever retirement home they’ve been festering in to announce…
Guns N’ Roses Use 500 Drones to Announce They’re Still Alive and Touring in 2026
LOL! GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, apparently think we care enough to watch 500 drones buzz around like confused…
Glenn Hughes: Still Alive After All These Years (and Sober, Apparently)
OMG! Glenn Hughes, aka the “Voice of Rock” (according to himself, probably), is TOTALLY celebrating 28 years of sobriety! 🎉…
The GEMS Declare ‘Year Of The Snake’ – Prepare for Hiss-terical Melodies
THE GEMS, the Swedish “hard rock” band featuring former THUNDERMOTHER (more like THUNDER-BORING, amirite?) members Guernica Mancini (vocals – allegedly),…
EXTREME Drops Another Turd: ‘Here’s To The Losers’ – The 12th and FINAL Nail in the ‘Six’ Coffin
EXTREME, the band that time forgot (and maybe for good reason 🤔), has unleashed a music video for their earth-shattering…
Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Pleasuredome: A Deluxe Edition? More Like a Deluxe Distraction!
Frankie Goes To Hollywood – Welcome To The Pleasuredome Deluxe Edition (UMR). Oh honey, they REALLY think we care about…
MACHINE HEAD Announces ‘An Evening With…Your Impatience’ Spring 2026 European Tour (Because We Know You’ll Still Complain)
Alright, headcases, or should I say, empty-headed cases? 🤡 Your supreme overlord, Robb Flynn, has graced you with news of…