Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Behold! THE GATHERING Milks ‘Mandylion’ for 30th Anniversary Bucks in Dull Dutch Town
Breaking, Music News

Behold! THE GATHERING Milks ‘Mandylion’ for 30th Anniversary Bucks in Dull Dutch Town

Chord F. DiscordAugust 28, 2025August 28, 2025

Ok, boomer, listen up! 👴 Your favorite Dutch rockers THE GATHERING—yes, the ones your dad listened to—are back with the…

AVATAR Drops New Album Title So Basic It Hurts, Unleashes ‘Tonight We Must Be Warriors’ Video (Yawn)
Breaking, Music News

AVATAR Drops New Album Title So Basic It Hurts, Unleashes ‘Tonight We Must Be Warriors’ Video (Yawn)

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

AVATAR (aka that Swedish metal band your cousin pretends to like) – featuring the majestic vocal stylings of Johannes Eckerström…

STELLAR CIRCUITS to unleash 3rd album, ‘Phantom :: Phoenix’ – Prepare for eargasms in November
Breaking, Music News

STELLAR CIRCUITS to unleash 3rd album, ‘Phantom :: Phoenix’ – Prepare for eargasms in November

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

Oh, great, another band thinks they’ve discovered fire 🔥. North Carolina’s STELLAR CIRCUITS, who apparently made some noise last year…

Cradle of Filth Minus One Dude: Still Filthy, Still Filthy-ing
Breaking, Music News

Cradle of Filth Minus One Dude: Still Filthy, Still Filthy-ing

Chord F. DiscordAugust 27, 2025August 27, 2025

CRADLE OF FILTH, those purveyors of symphonic black metal (or whatever Dani Filth is calling it these days), graced Montevideo,…

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”
Breaking, Music News

STATIC-X Bassist Reminisces About Hanging With The Prince Of Darkness: “Ozzy Was, Like, Totally Awesome, Man”

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

So, apparently, according to PipemanRadio at the totally important Bloodstock Open Air festival (never heard of it), STATIC-X bassist Tony…

KISS Invades ‘World of Tanks’ With Enough Makeup to Trigger a Metal Detector
Breaking, Games News

KISS Invades ‘World of Tanks’ With Enough Makeup to Trigger a Metal Detector

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

Metal Fest, the festival that somehow hasn’t been canceled yet, is back in World Of Tanks Modern Armor, and this…

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music
Breaking, Music News

FILTER’s Richard Patrick Laments Lack of Existential Dread in Today’s Pop Music

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

During a groundbreaking 🤯 interview on “Whiplash”, the KLOS radio show hosted by the one and only Full Metal Jackie…

The Offspring drops ‘Truth In Fiction’ video, proving they’re still a band
Breaking, Music News

The Offspring drops ‘Truth In Fiction’ video, proving they’re still a band

Chord F. DiscordAugust 26, 2025August 26, 2025

OMG! 🙄 The geriatric punk rockers THE OFFSPRING, who are probably older than your grandpa,👴 just dropped a music video…

The Biggest PR Stunt of 2025: Broke Musicians Are Fleeing Spotify Just So You’ll Finally Hear of Them
The Virtual Queue to Oblivion: How Godspeed You! Black Emperor Got in Line Behind Xiu Xiu to Fight Killer Robots
Music News

The Biggest PR Stunt of 2025: Broke Musicians Are Fleeing Spotify Just So You’ll Finally Hear of Them

Chord F. DiscordAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

In a world where a “like” is currency and a “share” is an act of civil courage, a new drama…

Glenn Hughes to Play One Last Show – Probably His Last, Maybe Not, Who Knows
Breaking, Music News

Glenn Hughes to Play One Last Show – Probably His Last, Maybe Not, Who Knows

Chord F. DiscordAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

So, apparently, Glenn Hughes, the guy who sang high notes that shattered glass and probably annoyed dogs, was yapping on…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 68 69 70 … 123 Next

Latest posts

  • WARRANT’s ERIK TURNER Totally Not Embarrassed That ‘Cherry Pie’ Is Now Associated with Horny College Kids Instead of Just Horny Old People
  • Trump picks loyalist Todd Blanche as America’s next great attorney general
  • Goregrind vocalists🤘 looking for inspiration:
  • Cybersécurité pour les Nuls qui Croient encore que leur Mot de Passe Secret est Réellement Secret
  • California Announces They Have Finished Counting The Votes, Ronald Reagan Has Won The 1966 Governor’s Race

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}