JOHN TARDY Says OBITUARY Plans To Brainstorm Album Ideas For 2027—Because Who Needs Urgency?
Oh, look, John Tardy has ideas for a new album. Eventually. Maybe. 🪦🎸 In a world where bands drop albums…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
METAL CHURCH Unleashes Their 13th Studio Album, ‘Dead To Rights’ – Because Who Needs Album 12 Anyway?
Attention all thrashers, headbangers, and general metal misfits! METAL CHURCH is back with “Dead To Rights” — and no, they…
EVA UNDER FIRE Unleashes ‘Murder Scene’ – Because Why Write a Love Song When You Can Write a Crime Scene?
Oh look, another band with more drama than a reality TV show—EVA UNDER FIRE is here to remind us that…
Ex-MORBID ANGEL Drummer PETE SANDOVAL Finally Gets Diagnosis: Turns Out He’s Just Autistic, Not a Death Metal Demon
Holy Double Bass, Batman! Pete Sandoval Finally Discovers Why He’s So Good at Drumming—Autism! Move over, Lars Ulrich—there’s a new…
ZAKK WYLDE: “PANTERA Reunion? Only If PHILIP ANSELMO And REX BROWN Can Handle DIMEBAG’s Ghost Riffs”
Oh look, it’s PANTERA: The Phantom Reunion, starring Zakk Wylde as “The Guy Who’s Not Dimebag” and Charlie Benante as…
SKID ROW’s Global Singer Hunt: SWEETWATER Steps In Because the Original Singer Was Too Sweet for This Row
SKID ROW’s Singer Search Is Now a Global Audition—Thanks, Sweetwater! The legendary rockers are on a quest to find their…
LION’S SHARE Unleashes ‘Pentagram’ Music Video From Upcoming ‘Inferno’ Album: Satan Approved, Your Mom Cringed
Move over, black masses — Swedish heavy metal vets LION’S SHARE just dropped a satanic anthem that’s somehow more hilarious…
Legendary NWOBHM Band MORE Unleashes ‘Spirits Of War’ Single Because Why Not, ‘Destructor’ Album Incoming to Save Your Playlist
Attention, headbangers and vinyl collectors: MORE is back to remind you that they’ve been here all along, probably lifting weights…
SODOM’s TOM ANGELRIPPER Whines About U.S. Show Costs: ‘Guess We Can’t Afford Your Cheap Beer’
Thomas “Angelripper” Such, the grizzled veteran of German thrash metal, has finally admitted what we all knew deep down: being…
SLIPKNOT’s Secret 2008 Album ‘Look Outside Your Window’ Finally Emerges From the Basement in April Because the Band Got Bored of Waiting
Well, well, well… Looks like the boys in the masks have finally decided to stop hoarding their “secret stash” of…