Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)
Live, Music News

GODSMACK Announces Summer 2026 European Tour (For the 7 People Still Listening)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

GODSMACK, those purveyors of, uh, “music,” have announced a whopping dozen or so European shows for the distant year of…

MAYHEM Drops a Real Downer, “Despair,” from Their Joyless “Liturgy of Death” Album
Breaking, Music News

MAYHEM Drops a Real Downer, “Despair,” from Their Joyless “Liturgy of Death” Album

Chord F. DiscordDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

Get ready, posers, because the corpse-painted clowns 🤡 in MAYHEM are back with their SEVENTH studio album, “Liturgy Of Death”,…

Keanu Reeves’s band DOGSTAR (lol) Announces Spring/Summer 2026 European Tour (get your earplugs ready)
Breaking, Music News

Keanu Reeves’s band DOGSTAR (lol) Announces Spring/Summer 2026 European Tour (get your earplugs ready)

Chord F. DiscordDecember 2, 2025December 2, 2025

So, Keanu Reeves, bless his heart, decided that saving the world as John Wick wasn’t enough. Now he’s back with…

Ex-Fear Factory Drummer Thinks Dave Mustaine’s a Hater Because He Didn’t Fanboy Over His Megadeth Remix
Breaking, Music News

Ex-Fear Factory Drummer Thinks Dave Mustaine’s a Hater Because He Didn’t Fanboy Over His Megadeth Remix

Chord F. DiscordDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

In a recent tell-all with Story Mode, the legend himself, former FEAR FACTORY drum-banger Raymond Herrera (also known for composing…

The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist
Live, Music News

The Crown (Sweden) Announces 87-Date ‘Farewell’ Tour in 2026 to Prove They Still Exist

Chord F. DiscordDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE this! THE CROWN, those Swedish death/thrash metal dinosaurs 🦕, are finally calling it quits! After…

AC/DC Still Kicking After All These Years: Watch ‘If You Want Blood’ in Adelaide (2025) – Are They Even Trying Anymore
Breaking, Music News

AC/DC Still Kicking After All These Years: Watch ‘If You Want Blood’ in Adelaide (2025) – Are They Even Trying Anymore

Chord F. DiscordDecember 1, 2025December 1, 2025

Australia’s 7NEWS, which is basically the journalistic equivalent of that one uncle who still forwards chain emails, has graced us…

Limp Bizkit Still Alive, Plays Show After Some Dude Kicks the Bucket
Breaking, Music News

Limp Bizkit Still Alive, Plays Show After Some Dude Kicks the Bucket

Chord F. DiscordNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

LIMP BIZKIT, those purveyors of fine nu-metal and questionable fashion choices, graced the stage in Mexico City on Saturday night…

LINKIN PARK’s Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell Thinks Comeback’s a Smash Hit, Says Gigs Didn’t Suck Too Bad
Breaking, Music News

LINKIN PARK’s Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell Thinks Comeback’s a Smash Hit, Says Gigs Didn’t Suck Too Bad

Chord F. DiscordNovember 30, 2025November 30, 2025

Yo, what up, fellow numb-nuts? 👋 It’s your boy, Dave “Phoenix” Farrell, here to drop some truth bombs about LINKIN…

Atreyu’s Brandon Saller: “We’re Not Political, We Just Accidentally Wrote Songs That Sound Political, Whoops”
Breaking, Music News

Atreyu’s Brandon Saller: “We’re Not Political, We Just Accidentally Wrote Songs That Sound Political, Whoops”

Chord F. DiscordNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

So, Ore Bihovsky from TotalRock’s “Louder” show decided to grace ATREYU vocalist Brandon Saller with a question of utmost importance:…

Wolfie Plays All The Instruments Himself Because Apparently He Doesn’t Trust Anyone Else In The World
Breaking, Music News

Wolfie Plays All The Instruments Himself Because Apparently He Doesn’t Trust Anyone Else In The World

Chord F. DiscordNovember 29, 2025November 29, 2025

In a new interview with Cutter’s Rockcast, So, apparently, this dude Wolfgang Van Halen, the mastermind behind MAMMOTH WVH, thinks…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 75 76 77 … 157 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE September 3 2026 post remains without details
  • Nihilist Militia in Charlotte, NC (09/02/2026)
  • Dr. Blood’s Orgy of Gore in Charlotte, NC (09/02/2026)
  • Squid Pisser in Charlotte, NC (09/02/2026)
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald says a certain guy is a nice man apparently

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.