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Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
BUSH Declares War on Earplugs: Spring 2026 Tour Features MAMMOTH and JAMES AND THE COLD GUN (Bring Your Earplugs, You’ll Need Them)
Breaking, Music News

BUSH Declares War on Earplugs: Spring 2026 Tour Features MAMMOTH and JAMES AND THE COLD GUN (Bring Your Earplugs, You’ll Need Them)

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🎸 BUSH IS BACK, BABY! AND THEY’RE BRINGING THEIR “I BEAT LONELINESS” THERAPY SESSION TO A STADIUM NEAR YOU! 🎸…

ALEX SKOLNICK Teams Up With ARDESHIR FARAH: Where Shredding Meets Shiraz
Breaking, Music News

ALEX SKOLNICK Teams Up With ARDESHIR FARAH: Where Shredding Meets Shiraz

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

When the Electric Guitar Met Its Long-Lost Acoustic Cousin: A Tale of Two Six-String Wizards, One Who Forgot What Plugs…

LITA FORD Hopes To Release Her Long-Awaited New LP By May 2026: ‘The Whole Album Is A Theme’, She Says
Breaking

LITA FORD Hopes To Release Her Long-Awaited New LP By May 2026: ‘The Whole Album Is A Theme’, She Says

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 9, 2026January 9, 2026

🎸 Lita Ford: The Queen of Rock’s 2026 Album Release Is Coming… Or Is It? Spoiler: It’s Not. But the…

MAYHEM’s ATTILA CSIHAR Says He Wasn’t Even Mad When Euronymous Turned Into a Human Pizza
Breaking, Music News

MAYHEM’s ATTILA CSIHAR Says He Wasn’t Even Mad When Euronymous Turned Into a Human Pizza

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 8, 2026January 8, 2026

When Black Metal Wasn’t Just a Music Genre, But a Full-Time Contact Sport 🎸🔪 Ah, the early ’90s—back when Norwegian…

Death Angel, All Shall Perish, Kylesa, and Soilent Green Sign Up to Haunt Lamb of God’s 2026 Headbangers Boat Like Ghosts on a Floating Metal Mosh Pit
Live, Music News

Death Angel, All Shall Perish, Kylesa, and Soilent Green Sign Up to Haunt Lamb of God’s 2026 Headbangers Boat Like Ghosts on a Floating Metal Mosh Pit

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 8, 2026January 8, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: LAMB OF GOD ANNOUNCES 2026 CRUISE WHERE YOU CAN METAL IN A HOT TUB AND SNORKEL WITH PIGS…

The Book They Didn’t Want You to Read: Behind the Secret Genius of 2112
Breaking, Music News

The Book They Didn’t Want You to Read: Behind the Secret Genius of 2112

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🎸 2026: The Year When RUSH Fans Finally Get A Coffee Table Book About A 50-Year-Old Album (And It’s About…

JAY JAY FRENCH Warns Fans That TWISTED SISTER’s 2026 Reunion Tour Will Be Just as Predictable as Your Dad’s Jokes
Breaking, Music News

JAY JAY FRENCH Warns Fans That TWISTED SISTER’s 2026 Reunion Tour Will Be Just as Predictable as Your Dad’s Jokes

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 7, 2026January 7, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: The “Farewell” Tour That Refuses to Die — TWISTED SISTER Announces 50th Anniversary Reunion Because Retirement Was Clearly…

ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls
Breaking, Music News

ROB HALFORD Hits 40 Years Without Booze Because Apparently Even Metal Gods Get Tired of Headbanging Into Walls

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

JUDAS PRIEST’s Rob Halford Celebrates 40 Years of Not Dying on a Tour Bus Like a Rock ‘n’ Roll Cliché…

BILLY GIBBONS Reveals ZZ TOP Almost Sold Their Souls for a Million Bucks and a Razor
Breaking, Music News

BILLY GIBBONS Reveals ZZ TOP Almost Sold Their Souls for a Million Bucks and a Razor

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 6, 2026January 6, 2026

🚨 BREAKING: Gillette Offers ZZ TOP $1 Million EACH to Shave Beards, Billy Gibbons Says “No Thanks, We Like Looking…

Nita Strauss: The Melodic Death Metal Workout Queen Who Can’t Curl a Bicep Without Soilwork and At the Gates
Breaking, Music News

Nita Strauss: The Melodic Death Metal Workout Queen Who Can’t Curl a Bicep Without Soilwork and At the Gates

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 5, 2026January 5, 2026

When Nita Strauss Isn’t Shredding Guitars, She’s Shredding… Her Own Excuses (And Occasionally Her Soul on the Treadmill) 🎸🏋️‍♀️ In…

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