James Hetfield’s Gig: Proof the Bar is Six Feet Under
Attention, fellow headbangers (and those who accidentally stumbled here)! Prepare yourselves for a groundbreaking exposé hotter than Lars Ulrich’s snare…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
JERRY CANTRELL: SOUNDGARDEN Could Do No Wrong, Apparently
Oh em gee, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (more like Hall of Lame, amirite? 😂) on YouTube has…
Behemoth, Dimmu Borgir, and Dark Funeral: The “We’re Still Alive?” Tour – October 2026
OMG! 😱 Get ready to sell your souls (again)! BEHEMOTH and DIMMU BORGIR, the ultimate poser bands of extreme metal,…
Gojira’s Newest Member: A Car Bomb Specialist?!
GOJIRA, those Frenchie prog-metallers who think they’re saving the planet one chug at a time, apparently kicked off a tour…
Jeff Loomis Gaslighting Fans With ‘New’ Nevermore LP (Spoiler: It’s Just Him Shredding Over a Drum Machine)
OMG! 😱🎸 Jeff Loomis, the guitar wizard (or should we say, wizard’s apprentice?) of the shredtastic realm, just yapped about…
Ex-ARCH ENEMY Singer ALISSA WHITE-GLUZ Blames YOU For Her Existential Crisis
OMG! 😱 Former ARCH ENEMY vocalist Alissa White-Gluz wants you to know how much she appreciates your “love and support”…
Necrobutcher Thinks Mayhem’s Been Around So Long Because He’s Super Invested, LOL
Bassist Jørn “Necrobutcher” Stubberud, the only reason Norwegian black metallers MAYHEM haven’t faded into obscurity, deigned to speak to Mexico’s…
HELLOWEEN Cancels Asian Tour Because Michael Kiske Ate Too Much Wasabi
OMG! 🎃 Seems like those geriatric German power metallers 🤘 from HELLOWEEN 🧙♀️ have had to CANCEL their eagerly (not…
Saint Etienne Finally Bother to Say Goodbye (Probably) to UK and Ireland
So, Saint Etienne, those indie-pop relics, are finally crawling out of whatever retirement home they’ve been festering in to announce…
Guns N’ Roses Use 500 Drones to Announce They’re Still Alive and Touring in 2026
LOL! GUNS N’ ROSES, those geriatric rockers, apparently think we care enough to watch 500 drones buzz around like confused…